Tag: Trust Hillary

ABSOLUTE SIGNATURE EXAMINES THE YOU KNOW IN ENGLISH VERNACULAR AND HOW THE LIVERMORE LIGHTBULB SHEDS LIGHT ON THE COMMON PHRASE SUBVERSIVELY USED BY WEAK NEWS MEDIA TO SUBLIMINALLY SHINE LIGHT ON HOW WELL THE PLAN TO DUMB DOWN AMERICANS IS WORKING. You know?

ABSOLUTE SIGNATURE EXAMINES THE YOU KNOW IN ENGLISH VERNACULAR AND HOW THE LIVERMORE LIGHTBULB SHEDS LIGHT ON THE COMMON PHRASE SUBVERSIVELY USED BY WEAK NEWS MEDIA TO SUBLIMINALLY SHINE LIGHT ON HOW WELL THE PLAN TO DUMB DOWN AMERICANS IS WORKING. You know?

You know what I mean, don’t you? You know how, sometimes, the talking heads on news networks say, ‘you know’, so many times, you really don’t know what they are trying to communicate, other than their ignorance; you know what I’m saying?

ON 1-5-2012, THE MAVERICK ARTIST VICTOR-HUGO VACA II MANIFESTED A MODERN ART MUSIC MOVEMENT (MAMM) HAPPENING, WITH THE GLEN GOVOT BAND, AT “THE STAGE”, IN WYNWOOD, MIAMI, FLORIDA.

Well, you know, there’s this lightbulb, you know, it was installed in the Livermore, California fire department, in 1901 and it keeps shining to this day, you know?

IN FRONT OF A CAPACITY CROWD, THE MAVERICK ARTIST VICTOR-HUGO VACA II, PRODUCED A WORK OF ART TITLED, “ABSOLUTE SIGNATURE”, ALONGSIDE, GLEN GOVOT, AS PART OF THE MODERN ART MUSIC MOVEMENT.

You know, the four-watt lightbulb has burned through the birth of powered human flight, two world wars, twenty U.S. Presidents, women and blacks being granted the right to vote, twenty seven olympic games and, you know, space exploration.

MAVERICK ARTIST VICTOR-HUGO VACA II BUILDS THE FOUNDATION FOR HIS ARTWORK WITH POSITIVE WORDS.

You know, the Livermore lightbulb is the world’s oldest-known working lightbulb and is, you know, a shining example, of what human beings are capable of, you know?

THE MAVERICK ARTIST VICTOR-HUGO VACA II PUTS FINISHING TOUCHES ON “ABSOLUTE SIGNATURE”, ON STAGE, AT MAMM JAM HAPPENING.

You know, the Livermore lightbulb is still burning bright because of its low wattage and filament thickness, you know?

THE MAVERICK ARTIST VICTOR-HUGO VACA II WITH GLEN GOVOT AND JUAN ETCHEGORRY AT THE STAGE.

You know, the Livermore lightbulb shines brighter than pundits and so-called journalists, on news outlets, manipulating truth to an audience that, you know, according to a 2016 Gallup Poll, shows that only one in four viewers actually trust what they hear on news channels, you know?

MAVERICK ARTIST VICTOR-HUGO VACA II WITH JAMIE LIPMAN IN FRONT OF “ABSOLUTE SIGNATURE” PAINTING.

You know, the Livermore lightbulb, doesn’t say anything, it just sheds light on life, you know?

THE MAVERICK ARTIST VICTOR-HUGO VACA II WITH GLEN GOVOT AT “THE STAGE”.

You know, the Livermore lightbulb, makes more sense than people who say, ‘you know’, all the time, to hide the fact that, in reality, they don’t know much, you know?

“ABSOLUTE SIGNATURE” (36X54) BY MAVERICK ARTIST VICTOR-HUGO VACA II.

“The more they say, ‘you know’, the more you know they are ignorant.” – Maverick Artist Victor-Hugo Vaca II

MAVERICK ARTIST VICTOR HUGO MIXES SPERM WITH PAINT TO COMBAT DAFEN CHINA ARTIST MILL FORGERIES.

In A Global Market Saturated With Counterfeit Paintings, Produced By Master Fabricators, Semen Serves To Authenticate Victor-Hugo Collection DNA Series of Artwork For Savvy Fine Art Collectors.

Dafen, China is home to 5,000 artists who produce dozens of replicas weekly, collectively churning out more than half of the oil paintings produced in the entire world each year. Over 5 million paintings a year are produced legally under Chinese Law where works of art fall out of copyright protection after fifty years.

“A WOMAN ALWAYS SEES WHAT SHE WANTS TO IN A MAN” (48X48) DNA SERIES, MODERN-ART-GONZO-JOURNALISM, BY MAVERICK ARTIST VICTOR-HUGO VACA II. (5-21-05)

Fine art forgeries can be purchased for forty dollars on every street corner in the village of Dafen, which was founded in the 1990’s by twenty artists, trained at art academies, and a businessman.

“HANDJOB” (36X36) DNA SERIES, MODERN-ART-GONZO-JOURNALISM BY MAVERICK ARTIST VICTOR-HUGO VACA II. (1-19-05)

For roughly the price of a high-end Kindle, you can get a near perfect replica of Vincent Van Gogh’s, Starry Night or Leonardo DaVinci’s, Mona Lisa in the United States. For that reason, the Maverick Artist Victor-Hugo Vaca II mixes his body fluids with paint, to safeguard the investment of fine art collectors who wish to ensure the authenticity of his unique works of modern-art-gonzo-journalism.

“BLEEDING WOMAN” (36X36) DNA SERIES, MODERN-ART-GONZO-JOURNALISM, BY MAVERICK ARTIST VICTOR-HUGO VACA II. (2-2-05)

The DNA Series premiered at the controversial “Ground Zero” exhibit in 2005 during Art Basel Miami Week, to critical acclaim.

RARE, COLLECTOR’S ITEM POSTCARD, PROMOTING THE CONTROVERSIAL “GROUND ZERO” EXHIBIT, WHICH INTRODUCED A GLOBAL AUDIENCE TO VICTOR-HUGO VACA II’S CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED DNA SERIES, AS SEEN ON MAJOR TELEVISION NETWORKS.

The DNA Series was inspired by, “Piss Christ”, a 1987 photograph by the American artist and photographer Andres Serrano and Chris Ofili’s “The Holy Virgin Mary”, a mixed-media painting depicting a black Madonna decorated with elephant manure which sold at auction at Christie’s in London for 2.9 million pounds ($4.6 million).

‘THE DEAD COCK” (30X30) DNA SERIES, MODERN-ART-GONZO-JOURNALISM, BY MAVERICK ARTIST VICTOR-HUGO VACA II, WAS SOLD, AT AUCTION, ON JANUARY 29, 2009 AT “THE HIDEAWAY BEACH CLUB”, IN MARCO ISLAND, FLORIDA, AS PART OF THE PRESTIGIOUS, “WET PAINT LIVE”, AN ANNUAL CHARITY EVENT, CREATED TO BENEFIT EDUCATION SCHOLARSHIPS, ORGANIZED BY THE LEADERSHIP MARCO ALUMNI UNDER THE AUSPICES OF THE MARCO ISLAND AREA CHAMBER OF COMMERCE AND MARY LEE MAPOTHER, ACTOR, TOM CRUISE’S MOTHER. (1-21-05)

When people protested, the City of New York and Mayor Giuliani brought a court case against the Brooklyn Museum, in an attempt to evict and withdraw the annual, $7 million City Hall museum grant, for exhibiting, “The Holy Virgin Mary”, which, then Mayor of New York City, Rudolph Giuliani, described as, “sick”and “disgusting”. The museum director, Arnold L. Lehman, then filed a federal lawsuit against Mayor Rudolph Giuliani for a breach of the First Amendment and the Brooklyn Museum won the court case.

“THE FINALE”(30X30) DNA SERIES, MODERN-ART-GONZO-JOURNALISM BY MAVERICK ARTIST VICTOR-HUGO VACA II. (2-9-05)

“When I heard artists were using blood, vomit and feces to create works of art, I thought that was disgusting.” Maverick Artist Victor-Hugo Vaca II said. “I thought semen would be a better body fluid to work with, fortunately, my girlfriends agreed, so they helped me rub a few out and…well, the rest is history.”

“FOR JENNIFER” DNA SERIES, MODERN-ART-GONZO-JOURNALISM BY MAVERICK ARTIST VICTOR-HUGO VACA II.

The Maverick Artist Victor-Hugo Vaca II is often referred to as, “The Artist Of Rock And Roll Stars And Celebrities“, because his works of art are in the collection of such notable public and entertainment industry figures as:

Don King – Boxing promoter
Tito Puente Jr. – Musician
Doug Bell – Musician (Lead Singer Bellevue Cadillac, The Cars, J Geils Band)
Skunk Baxter – Musician (The Doobie Brothers, Steely Dan)
Rick Derringer – Musician (The McCoys)
Leroy Romans – Musician (Third World, The Wailers)
Fran Sheehan – Musican (Boston)
Barry Goudreau – Musican (Boston)
Robert “Mousey” Thompson – Musician (James Brown Band)
Danny Beissel – Musician (Fosterchild)
Robin Zander – Musician (Lead Singer Cheap Trick)
Simba – Artist
James Enders – Artist (International Pop Art Guru)
DJ Josh Wetherington – Musician/Producer
DJ Rob Malone – Musician/Producer
Dan Pacini – Musician ( The Baker Act, Dirty Foot, Shoram Fusion)
Guy Le Houx – Business mogul and restaurant magnate
Robert Sadler – Wall Street Stock Trader
Julien Manival – French Nightclub Impresario
Gerry Kelly – South Beach Night Club Impresario
Oliver Geddes – Canadian Nightclub and restaurant magnate
Fred Thompson – Actor (Law & Order), U.S. Rep. Senator, Lawyer on Watergate Committee, Radio Host
H-Love Eggers – Radio Show Host
Jeff Goldblum – Actor (The Fly, Independence Day, Jurassic Park)
Bill Johnson – Founding board member of the House of Blues
Barnaby Ruhe Ph.D. – Artist, Shaman, NYU Professor
Albie Monterrosa – Musician (Lead Singer deSol, Albie and the Neighborhood, MonteRosa Band, Love At The Bodega)
James Guerrero – Musician (deSol)
Shy Figaro – Fashion Designer
Neal Fox – Composer, Filmmaker, Artist, Activist, Musician (Polydor, RCA Victor), Top Ten Dance Club Hit, “In the Jungle”
Robin Fox – Musician, Top Ten Dance Club Hit, “I See Stars”
Naughty Natalia – Radio & TV Personality, Author, Entrepreneur
Kerry Walsh – Internationally Renowned Opera Singer, TV, Theater and Film Actress
Gene Degollada – Business Mogul, Founder Stuttgart International Auto
Belinda Carlisle – Musician (Lead Singer The Go-Go’s)
Jane Wieidlin – Musician (The Go-Go’s), Actress (Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure)
Dave Wakeling – Musican (Lead Singer The English Beat, General Public)
W. Nelson Lewis – Media maven, TV Personality (FOX News Greta Live Wire), Journalist, Television Producer (FOX News Laura Ingraham Show, FOX News Greta Van Susteren, GOLF Channel)
Michael Posner – Movie Maven, Delray Beach Film Festival Founder
Roger A. Bauman – Wolfsonian Museum Advisory Board Member, Entrepreneur, Business Mogul (Baumann Cosmetic Dermatology)
Terri Nunn – Musician (Lead singer Berlin), Actress (TJ Hooker, Thank God It’s Friday)

“I became an artist to survive.” -Maverick Artist Victor-Hugo Vaca II

MAVERICK ARTIST VICTOR HUGO VACA II

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFSvUZGUNuY

MODERN CIVIL WAR PROPHESY ERUPTS IN USA AS SEEN IN NEW TIMES 2007 ART BASEL ARTICLE

Modern-Art-Gonzo-Journalism Forecast Civil Unrest In America, Fueled By A Breakdown In Public Trust Of Justice System, Government Leadership And Biased News Media, As Seen In New Times 2007 Art Basel, “Crackhead Jesus Is Coming Exhibit”, Article.

In 2007, the Miami New Times, Art Basel issue, featured an article titled, “What Is He Smoking? Victor-Hugo Vaca (II) presents an interesting art event.”

MIAMI NEW TIMES, 2007 ART BASEL ARTICLE, HIGHLIGHTS THE LEGENDARY “CRACKHEAD JESUS IS COMING” MODERN-ART-GONZO-JOURNALISM EXHIBIT, CREATED BY MAVERICK ARTIST VICTOR-HUGO VACA II, THAT WARNED THE WORLD, OF AN IMPENDING MODERN CIVIL WAR IN AMERICA, FUELED BY PUBLIC DISTRUST IN NEWS MEDIA AND U.S. GOVERNMENT LEADERSHIP.

The controversial Art Basel Miami week exhibit, manifested by the Maverick Artist Victor-Hugo Vaca II, as a warning to the world, was witnessed by over ten-thousand global citizens.

DUE TO POPULAR DEMAND AND SOLD OUT CROWDS, THE “CRACKHEAD JESUS IS COMING EXHIBIT” WAS HELD OVER FOR FIVE WEEKS DURING THE 2007 CHRISTMAS SEASON.

The Maverick Artist Victor-Hugo Vaca II, modern-art-gonzo-journalism exhibit, was the largest and most attended, solo artist show, during the 2007 Miami Art Basel week.

THE INTERACTIVE “CRACKHEAD JESUS IS COMING”EXHIBIT PROPHESIED THE NET EFFECT OF NEWS MEDIA DUMBING DOWN MINORITIES TO INCITE A MODERN CIVIL WAR FOR PROFIT AND RATINGS.

Millennials and minorities with critical thinking skills trust modern-art-gonzo-journalism to predict the future being created by bias mainstream media outlets that censor news and which, in a recent Gallup Poll, have reached an all time low of public trust.

THE ART BASEL MIAMI WEEK EXHIBIT FOREWARNED THAT A BROKEN AND CORRUPT U.S. JUSTICE SYSTEM WOULD HAVE A BUTTERFLY EFFECT LEADING TO A MODERN CIVIL WAR IN AMERICA.

The elaborate multi-media event created by Maverick Artist Victor-Hugo Vaca II to warn people that, no justice equals no peace, was widely ignored by the mainstream media, offended by the censored “Crackhead Jesus Exhibit” title, but embraced by thousands of people who distrust biased mainstream media and corrupt government.

THE “CRACKHEAD JESUS EXHIBIT” PROGNOSTICATED THE AGE OF DONALD TRUMP AND HILLARY CLINTON IN THE NEW WORLD ORDER FOR THE UNITED SLAVES OF AMERICA.

Blacks and Hispanics, in spite of their oppression in the broken United States education system, are not stupid. Minorities realize that the racist term, “African-American”, perpetuates a false narrative. The African-American myth perpetrated by biased mainstream media and pandering U.S. government leaders, is used to dumb down Americans into falsely believing that, all African-Americans are black. The truth being ignored is, that just as not all Asians are Chinese, not all African-Americans are black. In fact, some white African-Americans are from South Africa and lived through Apartheid, which was fueled by racism and based on Nazi principles.

THE TERM, “AFRICAN-AMERICAN” IS A RACIST INSULT TO ALL AMERICANS BECAUSE IT ASSUMES ALL AFRICANS ARE BLACK AND CREATES ANIMOSITY BETWEEN BLACKS AND WHITES WHO ARE ALL, REGARDLESS OF COLOR, UNITED SLAVES OF AMERICA.

“Why does the media continue to ignore the fundamental problem of what is transpiring in our once great nation? The lack of clear oversight for those who set the standard of competency and ethics for lawyers in the state of Florida and in other states is creating a tsunami of global distrust for U.S leadership and lawmakers who have a special rule of law for the privileged like, Hillary Clinton and O.J. Simpson, and another set of rules and laws for everyone else.”

– Victor-Hugo Vaca II

MAVERICK ARTIST VICTOR-HUGO VACA II

TWITTER BANS ZOMBIE HILLARY CLINTON AND OSAMA BIN LADEN RESURFACES TO SUPPORT CLINTON FOR PRESIDENT WWCHJD? What Would Crackhead Jesus Do?

“Radical Islamic Terrorists are like Unicorns, they simply don’t exist. President Barrack Hussein Obama and Hillary Clinton are 100% correct when they say, “Islam is a religion of peace” and anyone who thinks otherwise is, Islamophobic and xenophobic. Hillary Clinton is correct when she says, “Donald Trump’s supporters are deplorable racists that are beyond redemption”. Actually, all white people are racist. Allahu Akbar! Hillary Clinton 2016.” – Osama Bin Laden

MILLENNIALS DON’T NEED BIAS MAINSTREAM NEWS TO TELL THEM THE CLINTON MACHINE IS MANIPULATING SOCIAL MEDIA LIKE FACEBOOK, INSTAGRAM AND TWITTER, TO CENSOR FREE SPEECH IN AMERICA.

MODERN ART GONZO JOURNALISM SERVES AS BRIDGE BETWEEN NEUTERED INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALISTS AND WANING PUBLIC TRUST IN SEARCH OF AN OUTLET.

Press, Blatantly Reporting Opinion And Hyperbole As News, Has A Frustrated Public Turning To Artists, To Document Untold History, On Canvas, In Lieu Of Weak Newspaper And Television Reporting In The Age Of Donald Trump And Hillary Clinton.

In the words of the alleged-serial-killer-spinal-surgeon, operating out of the Washington D.C. Baltimore, Maryland area, Dr. Charles Edwards: “You can get away with murder because you can always count on cops being overworked, underpaid and lazy and lawyers being greedy.”

Severe cuts in staffing high-quality investigative journalists at mainstream media news outlets, portends a disturbing trend, that should concern anyone who worries about living in a functioning Democracy.

“IF A MAJOR NEWS ORGANIZATION LIKE NBC IS GOING TO REDUCE THE NUMBER, AND IT SOUNDS LIKE A SIGNIFICANT NUMBER, OF THE PEOPLE WHO GO OUT AND GATHER INFORMATION TO GO INTO THE DAILY STREAM OF NEWS, IT’S GOING TO THIN OUR KNOWLEDGE OF THE WORLD SOMEWHAT.” – BILL KOVACH

So, then, what is one to do in a world, where weak investigative journalists, peddle opinion as news and see “The Clinton Death List” and the World Trade Center, Building Seven, spontaneous-implosion, in New York City, on September 11, 2001, as conspiracy theories?

MODERN-ART-GONZO-JOURNALISM PAINTS HISTORY IN A WAY THAT MAINSTREAM TELEVISION NEWS OUTLETS CAN NOT AFFORD TO DO.

Hopeless people, claiming cops don’t care and investigative journalists won’t listen, contact modern-art-gonzo journalists with stories that go unreported or woefully under-reported in weak mainstream media news outlets, due to lack of will, budget and corporate interest.

WORLD TRADE CENTER CONTEMPORARY ART MEME, EXPLORES THE FACT, THAT U.S. NEWS MEDIA, WOULD HAVE PUBLIC TRUST BELIEVE, THAT THE WORLD TRADE CENTER BUILDING SEVEN, COULD DEFY THE LAWS OF PHYSICS.

In the way jesters, during the Dark Ages, were able to point out, that the King was not wearing any clothes, so too, modern-art-gonzo journalism is able to skim past false truths, fed in soundbites, to skeptical public trust, in creating a vernacular and visual , “Diary Of The World On Canvas”, that interprets the court of public opinion, in brief moments of time, throughout history.

“COMPLIANCE IS NOT A DESTINATION, IT’S A JOURNEY SAYS THE SECURITIES AND EXCHANGE COMMISSION OFFICE OF CREDIT RATINGS DIRECTOR TO THE UNITED SLAVES OF AMERICA.”, IS A WORK OF MODERN-ART-GONZO-JOURNALISM CREATED BY MAVERICK ARTIST VICTOR-HUGO VACA II, USING BEAR STERNS STATIONARY, FROM THE OFFICE OF A SENIOR MANAGING DIRECTOR, AS CANVAS, FOR THIS MIXED MEDIA WORK OF ADHESIVE GRAFFITI FINE ART.

The world has become so immune to corruption and dishonesty that lying thieves are becoming the elected choice of people who have given up and feel safe in the status quo of false promises and exploitation.

LIKE A FLY ON THE WALL, OR, “WHERE’S WALDO”, MODERN-ART-GONZO-JOURNALIST, VICTOR HUGO VACA II, CAN BE FOUND IN THE BACKGROUND, CONTEMPLATING LIFE’S CURIOUS MOMENTS?

Corporations, like Nestle, buy water for pennies on the dollar, from natural springs, syphoned away, by greed, from public consumption and spend millions of dollars on advertising, with U.S. news networks, while people in Flint Michigan, are poisoned by corrupt government officials, under the nose of journalists, distracted by Miley Cyrus, twerking Robin Thicke, on an awards show.

“NEWS IS ABOUT ADVERTISING AND ADVERTISING IS A BUSINESS” – VICTOR-HUGO VACA II

News media turned a blind eye to the plight of the disenfranchised without a voice, until contemporary artists, like Cher and Beyonce, started raising public awareness about the reality surrounding us all, as cultured beings, in a state of rapid change and awakening.

DETAIL FROM FEATURED PAINTING, CREATED IN 2007 AT A MODERN ART MUSIC MOVEMENT REHEARSAL WITH, MAVERICK ARTIST VICTOR-HUGO VACA II AND POWER, FROM RYTHMM EPKINS, “MIND, BODY AND SOUL”, BEFORE A SOLD OUT CONCERT, IN BAKERSFIELD, CALIFORNIA, TO BENEFIT MENTALLY HANDICAPPED CHILDREN.

The following is an emailed example, with the name of the sender omitted to protect sources of information, of the sorts of requests from citizens of Earth, to modern-art-gonzo-journalists, in the hopes, that their story of the human condition, will be documented in art, for future generations of investigative journalists and historians, to revisit artistic canvassed chronicles, in the pursuit of a remedy, for the growing cancer of dishonesty and corruption in the evolution of human nature:

“IN MY DIARY OF THE WORLD ON CANVAS, I PAINT WHAT I SEE, AND WHAT I SEE IS THE BEAUTIFUL CHAOS THAT SURROUNDS US ALL IN THE MULTI-UNIVERSE.”- MAVERICK ARTIST VICTOR-HUGO VACA II.

Hi,

My friend asked me to email you the following basic info:

– Very high profile business individuals involved

– $18 Million invested

– Potential dirty money from Mexico

– City official involved with under the table “help”

– Embezzlement

– Infringement of ownership

– Fraudulent transfer to avoid paying due to local businesses ($1.5+ MM due)

– Documents forgeries

– Known name and about to reopen under a new name within the next 2-3 months

– Currently several lawsuits already filed against various group’s entities

– Etc.

Ex-executive with thousands of supporting documents potentially ready to talk under certain conditions and guarantied multiple city publication (getting involved other journalist to publish it nationally)

Let me know if any interests.

MODERN-ART-GONZO-JOURNALIST VICTOR-HUGO VACA II

“When I contacted WSVN 7 Fox News, after Hurricane Wilma, about a clear and present danger, impacting the lives of over fifteen-hundred residents, in a high rise building, destroyed by a tornado, the newsroom said: ‘Call us back when you see burning bodies flying out of the building, otherwise, it’s not news.'”. – Maverick Artist Victor-Hugo Vaca II

The Impact Of Street Art Sticker Slapping Culture On Millennials And Baby Boomers Living In The Age Of Donald Trump And Hillary Clinton

STICKER BOOK EXAMINES SOCIOPOLITICAL IMPACT OF GRAFFITI STICKER ART IN CONTEMPORARY CULTURE.

THE DEFINITIVE STICKER BOOK, BY DB BURKEMAN AND MCA, FEATURING THE ARTWORK OF MAVERICK ARTIST VICTOR-HUGO VACA II, HAS BEEN EXHIBITED IN MUSEUMS, GALLERIES AND ART FAIRS INCLUDING ART BASEL MIAMI WEEK.

STICKERS: FROM PUNK ROCK TO CONTEMPORARY ART (A.K.A. “Stuck-Up Piece of Crap”) traces the visual and social history of the sticker art medium.

STICKERS, EXPLORES THE RELATIONSHIP THAT ARTISTS HAVE WITH THEIR PIECES AND HOW THEY COMMUNICATE WITH PASSING PEDESTRIANS.

The subculture and once deep, underground world of graffiti and street art, has recently been enthusiastically welcomed by fine art galleries, opening their doors, and embraced by art collectors, opening their wallets, to works of art that were once plastered, illegally, in cities throughout the world.

SHEPARD FAIREY AND THE MAVERICK ARTIST VICTOR-HUGO VACA II MANIFEST THOUGHT PROVOKING STREET ART IN WASHINGTON, D.C.

“All of this chaos and darkness fit my mental and emotional state perfectly.” – DB BURKEMAN

NEW YORK TIMES GRAFFITI STICKER TAGS.

“Stickers: From Punk Rock To Contemporary Art”, begins with Andy Warhols Banana sticker for the Velvet Underground and punk stickers in the mid 70’s to early 80’s.

CHINATOWN STREET ART

The Library of Congress and University reference book, “Stickers: From Punk Rock To Contemporary Art”, chronicles the development of sticker art through different eras, such as: Californian skate culture, early Hip Hop, infamous graffiti tags, Techno/Rave culture in the late 80s and early 90s, recent political and controversial subjects, right up to contemporary art and street art today.

STREET ART YBOR CITY

“STICKERS: From Punk Rock To Contemporary Art” spotlights “celebrity” artists who are not necessarily known for stickers and graffiti art, such as the Modern Art Music Movement™ founder, fine artist and award-winning filmmaker, Maverick Artist Victor-Hugo Vaca II.

STICKER TAG

A section of the book focuses on non-traditional sticker mediums like: wheat pastes, tape, tiles, postage stamps or anything else an artist chooses to work with that utilizes adhesive materials.

THOUGHT PROVOKING STICKER ART

“Whether printed or stenciled or painted or drawn with a marker, stickers confront the inequity of the mainstream artworld. Their presence declares that here is a spontaneous form of artistic expression that does not fit into the prescribed definition of art.” – Stikman

MIAMI GRAFFITI STICKER ART

Themes from branding to political activism are explored in the visually stunning book, “STICKERS: From Punk Rock To Contemporary Art”.

STREET ART MIAMI BEACH

“STICKERS: From Punk Rock To Contemporary Art” contains essays from Carlo McCormick, Shepard Fairey, and many other artists and collectors.

“IT’S HARD TO BELIEVE THAT PAPER AND VINYL WITH ADHESIVE BACKING CAN DO SO MUCH.”- SHEPARD FAIREY: STICKER BOOK INTRODUCTION.

“Just like the people I knew then, very few stickers made it out alive.” – DB BURKEMAN

“A LITTLE STICKER CAN BE A WHOLE LOT OF THINGS, AND DO A WHOLE LOT OF THINGS.” – SHEPARD FAIREY: STICKER BOOK INTRODUCTION.

“Also that year, every time I got into the back seat of a cab I noticed that it had been hit with a silver foil sticker that read NEON LEON’S RAINBOW EXPRESS in orange lettering.” – DB BURKEMAN

SOCIOPOLITICAL STICKERS- STRONG MESSAGES ON A LOW BUDGET.

“Allegedly Leon was a pimp. ” – DB BURKEMAN

CHICAGO STREET ART

“He gave all the girls he was running his stickers and they went up and down the city hitting the taxis. – DB BURKEMAN

Miami Beach Street Art

“I would wander around downtown and marvel at the decay-and what was about to be called street art. -DB BURKEMAN

St. Petersburg Street Art

“With what was going on in the world, everybody was complaining and asking ‘Why?’ when in fact, the question should have been, ‘Why not?'” – Stewart Stewart

COCONUT GROVE STREET ART

In 1982, Stewart Stewart was arrested by the anti-vandal squad while hitting a NYC subway car.

MIAMI STREET ART

The arresting officers and prosecuting judge asked Stewart Stewart for autographed stickers.

NEW YORK STREET ART

“Years later, after officially giving up drugs and the fantasy of being a photographer, I felt like I’d been given a second chance at life and was filled with a new unstoppable energy.” – DB BURKEMAN

NEW YORK STREET ART

“What is it about stickers that some people find so intriguing, while others either don’t notice them or just think of them as stuck up pieces of crap?” – DB BURKEMAN

CRACKHEAD JESUS IS COMING ON WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH HATERS

“I fiended for the stickers that came in bubble gum cards.” – DB BURKEMAN

CHICAGO STREET ART

“I feel that the people who love stickers think of them as tiny, portable works of art.” – DB BURKEMAN

CHICAGO STREET ART

“At first I thought it was just geeky OCD types like myself that were into stickers, but I’ve found so many different kinds of people with sticker collections and stories; even some of the artists I’m in awe of.” – DB BURKEMAN

MIAMI DESIGN DISTRICT STREET ART

“Kids, in general, I think, are much more open to absorbing art in a profound way when it’s on the street and not in a sterile gallery.” – DB BURKEMAN

SOUTH BEACH STREET ART

“I came to a peaceful place, thinking that the artists would probably be happy to know their stickers will last a lot longer in a book.” – DB BURKEMAN

STICKER SLAPPING

“Topps are the American Sticker Gods” – DB BURKEMAN

STICKER TAGGING

“Topps ‘Wacky Packages’ and ‘Garbage Pail Kids’ set the standard for kids with warped senses of humor.” – DB BURKEMAN

STREET ART BETHLEHEM

“During the French Revolution, in the late eighteenth century, propaganda posters were stuck up in the streets, in order to hammer home the ideas of the revolution to the public, portraying images of King Louis XVI as a drunken pig and of Marie Antoinette in sexually explicit positions.” – DB BURKEMAN

STREET ART YBOR CITY

“It’s always appealed to me when an artist uses the medium of stickering as a way of dealing with personal issues: exorcising their inner demons and using the streets as their free therapist or confessional.” – DB BURKEMAN

STICKER BOMB

“It’s anti-media, anti-established art world.” – Poster Boy

SLAP TAGGING

“Guess he’s just an asshole in an art lover’s suit.” – DB BURKEMAN

NEW YORK STREET ART

R. Stanton Avery created the first self-adhesive sticker in the 1930’s.

ADHESIVE STICKER ART

In 1946 the first self-adhesive bumper stickers were produced by Forrest Gill.

NEW JERSEY STREET ART

“Since their inception, bumper stickers have played a role in every political election, religious ideology and social uprising in the United States. ” -Ken Harman

STREET ART CHICAGO

“Stickers rule.” – Shepard Fairey

STICKER TAGS

“When I pause to think about it, stickers have changed my life.” – Shepard Fairey

STICKER SLAP

“Repetition works and stickers are a perfect medium to demonstrate this principle.” – Shepard Fairey

STICKER BOMB

“Stickers were evidence that I wasn’t living in a total void.” – Shepard Fairey

STICKER TAG

“I wanted stickers as badges of my culture.” – Shepard Fairey

STICKER BOMB

The Maverick Artist Victor-Hugo Vaca II moved form New York City to Newport, Rhode Island in 1988 to attend the United States Naval Academy Prep School at The Newport Naval Base War College. That same year, fellow graffiti, sticker, artist Shepard Fairey moved to Providence, Rhode Island, to attend the Rhode Island School Of Design.

CHICAGO STREET ART

“Providence had a tremendous art and music scene compared to what I was used to, and stickers were everywhere. – Shepard Fairey

NEW YORK STREET ART

“There were tons of band stickers, political-cause stickers and most interesting to me, a few art stickers and ‘Hello My Name Is…’ stickers.” – Shepard Fairey

MIAMI BEACH STREET ART

“A lot of the art stickers begged the question: What is this about?” – Shepard Fairey

CHICAGO STREET ART

“It was at this point that I began to ponder the sticker as a means of expression and communication for an individual, instead of just representing a band, company or movement.” – Shepard Fairey

STICKER BOMB

“I liked the idea of having my own sticker, but couldn’t think of anything clever enough to be worth executing.” – Shepard Fairey

CHICAGO STREET ART

“I paid very close attention to stickers and I would try to figure out who and what was behind any sticker I saw.” – Shepard Fairey

SLAP TAGGING

“During a museum trip to New York that freshman year of college, I saw graffiti in risky places that gave me new respect for the dedication of the writers.” – Shepard Fairey

STICKER SLAPPING

“Just as I had been made curious by many of the stickers I’d seen, I now had my own sticker to taunt and/or stimulate the public.” – Shepard Fairey

CHICAGO STREET ART

“Once the first domino fell, I was addicted and had my sights set on world domination through stickers.” – Shepard Fairey

MIAMI BEACH STREET ART

“It amazed me just how liberating and easy sticking was.” – Shepard Fairey

STICKER SLAPPING

“Every sheet of stickers I printed felt like I was making the world a little smaller: I mean, all those stickers were gonna end up somewhere.” – Shepard Fairey

CHICAGO STREET ART

From 1989 to 1996, Shepard Fairey hand-printed and hand-cut over one million stickers.

GRAFFITI STICKER ART

To date, over, 25,000 black and white “Crackhead Jesus is coming” stickers have been distributed to global audiences at Modern Art Music Movement™ Happenings across the United States from New York City to Las Vegas during the 2005 and 2009 Modern Art Music Movement™ tours.

STICKER TAG

The Crackhead Jesus is coming sticker has appeared all over the world including Sydney, Australia and Paris, France, at Cimetiere du Pere-Lachaise beside the grave of The Doors, Jim Morrison.

THE DOORS, JIM MORRISON, GRAVE.

The deluxe limited edition of “Stickers: From Punk Rock To Contemporary Art” comes in a clamshell box with a folder of die-cut stickers, some of them signed by the artists, and sells for US $350.00 US / Can $400.00.

THE “STICKERS” DELUXE LIMITED EDITION SOLD OUT AND IS NOW A COLLECTORS ITEM.

The iconic, “Crackhead Jesus is coming” sticker, has appeared on television, in movies and music videos as well as in magazines and newspapers.

CRACKHEAD JESUS STICKER ON POLE AS SEEN ON FOX 13 NEWS TAMPA BROADCAST WITH EVAN AXELBANK.

During the live-on-the-scene evening news broadcast of a gruesome kidnapping and rape story in Tampa Bay, Florida, the “Crackhead Jesus is coming” sticker appeared, over the shoulder, of newsman Evan Axelbank, throughout his report.

STICKER BUM

“Crackheadjesus is coming and he doesn’t pull out.”

-MAVERICK ARTIST VICTOR HUGO VACA II

THE MUSE WITH THE MAVERICK ARTIST VICTOR-HUGO VACA II AT THE GRAFFITI SUMMIT IN FORT LAUDERDALE, FLORIDA.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZFjfMaJh1I

BILL CLINTON TEACHES KIDS HOW TO ANESTHETIZE TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS FOR PUBLIC CONSUMPTION How Fake News Media Drinks Clinton Machine Kool Aid To Piss Sanitized Soundbites.

TITTIE HARVEST- THE STORY OF THE BLUE DRESS: “I MET A GIRL”; THE BILL AND HILLARY CLINTON LOVE STORY, THROUGH THE EYES OF THE UNDECIDED VOTER.

After directing the award-winning film, “Crackhead Jesus: The Movie©”, Victor-Hugo Vaca II was hired to direct a major motion picture titled, “The Blue Dress”, about the President Bill Clinton Monica Lewinsky White House affair.

AWARD-WINNING FILMMAKER MAVERICK ARTIST VICTOR-HUGO VACA II

The plan was to release “The Blue Dress”, in the year of election 2016 with much fanfare and promotion, to expected rave reviews, regardless of political affiliation, as a smart-dark-comedy. Victor-Hugo approached the project from the perspective of the heroic everyday challenge of every man and woman attempting to maintain and safeguard any long term commitment, or relationship, like marriage, in the face of a rabid, unforgiving-public, in search of human foibles and imperfections in celebrities and public figures, so as to offset their own immediate shortcomings in life.

MAVERICK ARTIST VICTOR-HUGO VACA II : PEERING THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS INTO THE MULTI-UNIVERSE.

“As an artist, I look through the existential prism of being in the mind of Bill Clinton, a beloved and feared lawyer, politician, suspected sex-offender, elected to the most powerful position on earth, as President of the United States, in command of the worlds most powerful military force, it was definitely something I looked forward to capturing and translating into the performances of talented actors, expressed through visual metaphors, on film, with a solid soundtrack, for the Lied To Generation to consume and digest, subconsciously, for generations.” Victor-Hugo said about his plans to direct the film.

“THE CLINTON MACHINE: STOP MONICA LEWINSKY STAINS BEFORE THEY START.” BY VICTOR HUGO VACA II

Alas, as fate would have it, a week before signing the contract to start production on the dark comedy inspired, by the part of the strange Bill and Hillary Clinton love story that President Clinton conveniently left out of his forty-one minute, “I Met A Girl Speech”, at the DNC, inside the Wells Fargo Center in Philadelphia, PA during the 2016 Democratic National Convention, the producer died of natural causes and “The Blue Dress” was never manifested onto the big screen. “That’s too bad, because it was a great script.” Says Victor-Hugo, adding, “I would have produced a great film from that script but as the saying goes, that’s Hollywood.”

PRESIDENT BILL CLINTON – THE SEX OFFENDER SERIES

The Undecided Voter and United Slaves Of America watch the Bread and Circus perpetrated glaringly, by unapologetically biased mainstream media, as evidenced in the Wikileaks DNC Hillary Clinton Machine email leak, broadcasting Democratic elections, by the leaders of the Free World, in the New World Order, being overshadowed by the enigmatic Clinton Machine, suggesting a false narrative that, Donald Trump, is a Manchurian Candidate, working in collusion with Russians, to expose deep-rooted racism and corruption within core leadership of the U.S. Democratic party.

THE UNDECIDED VOTER

The Undecided Voter digests the impact of Wikileaks DNC Hillary Clinton Machine email leak, revealing ingrained anti-semitism and racism within the top branches of leadership inside the Clinton Machine.

WIKILEAKS REVEALS DNC CLINTON MACHINE EMAILS SUGGESTING DEEP ROOTED RACISM IN DEMOCRATIC PARTY LEADERSHIP

The Undecided Voter contemplates the severe impact of National Security issues that demand FBI investigation and prosecution by the Attorney General, if the security of the United States Of America, is ever to be taken seriously by any world power again; in particular, highly negligent intelligence issues, surrounding the hacking of DNC and Secretary Of State, Hillary Clinton’s, private server, which the presidential candidate admittedly kept, when Secretary Of State, without permission, beside her toilet, without any leader-like consideration of public trust and national security.

CAN HILLARY CLINTON, AS COMMANDER IN CHIEF, BE BRIBED BY RUSSIAN HACKERS?

The Undecided Voter wonders about the very real possibility that an adversarial world power, like Russia or China, could have hacked the unauthorized private server containing above-top-secret-classified-information that then, Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, knowingly kept beside her toilet in the bathroom of her home, without permission, when she was entrusted by the American public, to lead, serve and protect American children and families, by safeguarding the highest level of National Security secrets, against penetration and manipulation, by the most dangerous enemies of our United States.

CAN CHINESE HACKERS BRIBE PRESIDENT HILLARY CLINTON OVER THE MISSING EMAILS FROM HER UNAUTHORIZED CLINTON MACHINE PERSONAL SERVER?

The Undecided Voter, who understands, that the concept of duty can not be taught, it must be lived and military personnel and veterans, who know the meaning of loyalty and the penalty for violating responsibility and duty, such as safeguarding national security, are wary of trusting Hillary Clinton, as Commander In Chief, of the worlds most powerful military force, with above-top-secret National Security Clearance.

THE CLINTON MACHINE CENSORS TRUTH IN FAVOR OF POLITICAL CORRECTNESS ON FACEBOOK & INSTAGRAM.

The Undecided Voter realizes that national security issues for the DNC, FBI and the CIA should not only be whether Russia is involved in cyber-espionage exposing racist, anti-semitic, anti-atheist and politically incorrect e-mails, delivered to and from from high ranking leadership, inside the heart and soul of the Democratic party; national security issues should also include finding the more than thirty thousand potentially top-secret emails destroyed by Hillary Clinton and her unauthorized-to-do-so, Clinton-Machine-lawyers.

THE CLINTON-MACHINE-KOOL-AID SERVES TO DISTRACT MAINSTREAM- MEDIA-UNCLE-TOM’S-OF-COMMON-SENSE FROM INVESTIGATING DANGEROUS NATIONAL SECURITY TOP SECRET EMAIL ISSUES AS UNDERSTOOD AND APPRECIATED BY THE UNDECIDED VOTER, MILLENNIALS, HISPANICS & BLACKS WITH COMMON SENSE.

The Undecided Voter understands that Hillary Clinton’s hacked emails could serve to potentially blackmail the Commander In Chief, if any of those above-top-secret emails were hacked by any adversarial nations. For that and other reasons, the so-called-party-of-inclusion is having a hard time feeding truth camouflaged in chocolate scented feces, to The Undecided Voter.

UNITED STATES NAVAL ACADEMY (USNA) MIDSHIPMEN OFFICERS FROM THE BRIGADE OF MIDSHIPMAN POINT TO THE HONOR CONCEPT – “DUTY CAN NOT BE TAUGHT, IT MUST BE LIVED.”

The Undecided Voter and Millennials are less worried about Donald Trump being a Russian Manchurian Candidate and more interested in knowing what National Security Information was inside the more than thirty-three thousand pages of information Hillary Clinton and the Clinton Machine lawyers destroyed to hide evidence of treasonous behavior when Hillary Clinton took the calculated action of placing an illegal personal server, containing top-secret United States National Security, in her home, unprotected and without safeguards against foreign hackers, in a clear violation of national security policy.

THE HILLARY CLINTON MACHINE – CRACKHEAD JESUS: DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT

The Undecided Voter thinks it is both unsettling and creepy to hear Bill Clinton describe how he stalked Hillary Clinton after first laying eyes on her and contemplates the logistical problems that will be faced by the United States Secret Service and Government attorneys fencing off the potential threat of having to deal with the reality of Bill Clinton and Anthony Weiner, two public sex offenders and perverts, stalking the White House Halls behind the President of the United States and Huma Abedin.

The creepy-rapey-guy feeling, that The Female Undecided Voter gets, when listening to Bill Clinton talk openly, about how he stalked Hillary Rodham, before grabbing her and making her his wife, before sodomizing a young intern named Monica Lewinsky, as Hillary Clinton’s husband and Commander In Chief, in the White House Oval Office. So, who’s Monica Lewinsky, in the lost chapter of the twisted Bill and Hillary Clinton Love Story?

MONICA LEWINSKY: CRACKHEAD JESUS IS COMING ON THE BILL & HILLARY CLINTON LOVE STORY

Monica Lewinsky and Hillary Clinton, technically, are the women responsible for manifesting the reality of entitlement for unsupervised teens and preteens to look up at their shocked conservative, parents walking into a latch-key-kids after-school-blow-job-party saying, “But Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, according to President Bill Clinton and the Democratic Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton, a blow job is, technically, not sex.”

Women React To Bill & Hillary Clinton’s Love Story At The Democratic National Convention In Philadelphia.

Or, teens on their rug-burned knees looking up, with wide open innocent eyes, telling their elders to: “Lighten up, Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa; we were just taking a break, from talking about how progressive it is, to have Hillary Clinton as a Presidential candidate and role model for young boys and girls and we figured we’d do some oral exercises, before learning important stuff, about Hillary Clinton, as a leader and role model, for women, on the internet.” All said, while wiping their Daddy’s-Little-Girl’s mouths, on Tommy Hilfiger t-shirts.

HILLARY CLINTON CRACKHEAD JESUS

“My birth name is Victor-Hugo Vaca Jr. On stage, when I am performing with the Modern Art Music Movement, I am known as, The Maverick Artist Victor-Hugo. When I am manifesting creations in the multi-universe as a modern-art-gonzo-journalist, my job is not to be politically correct, it is to witness, observe, analyze and document so as to colorfully communicate the wisdom of ages, for seven generations forward. The point of my artwork, my Diary-Of-The-World-On-Canvas, is really, to make everyone think outside the box.”

– Maverick Artist Victor-Hugo Vaca II

MAVERICK ARTIST VICTOR-HUGO VACA II UNDER THE INFAMOUS SHOCK NIGHTCLUB HUGE “KUNT” PAINTING AS SEEN IN MAJOR NEWS MEDIA OUTLETS

THE STRANGEST LOVE STORY EVER TOLD By Victor Hugo Vaca II

THE STRANGEST LOVE STORY EVER TOLD

(Scene 1-78 of Screenplay)

“The Strangest Love Story Ever Told.”©

Victor-Hugo Vaca II.

Maverick Artist Victor-Hugo Vaca II

Photo Credit: Award-Winning Director, Screenwriter, Producer-Alyn Darnay

This copyrighted screenplay, “The Strangest Love Story Ever Told©”, though inspired by actual events is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

The following are the first seventy-eight scenes of the copyrighted screenplay titled, “The Strangest Love Story Ever Told”© by Victor-Hugo Vaca II, one of the films, in the planned seven parts, from the infamous, “Crackhead Jesus: The Movie”© series.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KN8SIigY8TI

This work of modern-art-gonzo-journalism is dedicated to victims of domestic abuse, both male and female and abused children around the world. If you are a victim of Domestic Abuse get help by contacting The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). If you are a victim of child abuse, or witness child abuse, contact Childhelp at 1-800-422-4453.

Parental Advisory Explicit Content

“It’s not about breaking up, it’s about moving forward.” – Victor-Hugo Vaca II

Maverick Artist Victor-Hugo Vaca II (Photo Credit: Award Winning Director, Screenwriter, Producer-Alyn Darnay)

***************************************************************************************
Scene 1

Opera Diva Love

I was with the Opera Diva the day I met the Countess, at a formal charity event for battered women and children. I witnessed a Phoenix rising in stiletto high heels, before the Countess stole my heart and propelled my curious existence into the strangest love story ever told.

***************************************************************************************
Scene 2

The Undecided Voter

Artist wearing professional headphones and smoking bong, edits soundtrack on computer while watching news and porn on split screen. Unbeknownst to the Artist, a swat team with bomb sniffing dogs circles his home. Cops bang on front door and ring doorbell frantically.
***************************************************************************************

Scene 3

Opera Diva Skyline

Opera Diva gets sloppy drunk at charity event, while the Artist mingles his way towards the Countess, who is sitting alone on a park bench in the lush courtyard, beside a fountain and burning tiki torches. Their eyes meet before the Artist introduces himself to the Countess and they start a lively conversation that leads to a six-year relationship.
***************************************************************************************
Scene 4

Swatting

Artist exhales cloud of smoke while removing headphones, oblivious to Swat team and bomb sniffing dogs surrounding his home. Television shouts breaking-news of criminals, impersonating police officers, on the loose in local area, robbing homes and victimizing people with respect for authority, as the Artist calmly makes his way to the bathroom. Sitting on the toilet, while scrolling news of innocent people being shot by rookie police officers, the Artist hears loud knocking and doorbell ringing incessantly. The Artist wipes, flushes and stumbles out of the bathroom while lifting his underwear and pants expecting to find his girlfriend, The Countess, locked out, with groceries at the front door.
***************************************************************************************

Scene 5

Opera Diva

The Artist says goodnight to the Countess with a kiss on her cheek, after spending a lovely evening together, at a Charity event for battered women and children. As she walks away, toward the valet, an angry gay man, arm in arm with drunken, sobbing, Opera Diva, approaches the Artist shouting, “Instead of flirting, why don’t you take care of your wife, here!”

“She’s not my wife.” The Artist says, while propping up the Opera Diva and holding her steady, in a comforting embrace, before escorting her to a waiting car at valet, loading her into passenger seat gently and driving off at conclusion of party.
*************************************************************************
Scene 6

The Artist Contemplates Death

The Artist sees hulk in dark sunglasses staring back at him through open living room window as he crawls on floor tightening his belt.

“Open the door! This is the police!” Cops shout.

“What’s going on?” The terrified Artist asks while crawling out of view past the kitchen into the bedroom where Swat team in body armor stares back at him with weapons drawn through open windows.

“What are you doing on the floor? Get up! Open the door! We need to talk to you! Now!” Cop shouts at Artist, while filming inside of house with body cam.
*************************************************************************
Scene 7

Towers Of Pleasure

Artist makes love to Opera Diva. His mind is elsewhere.

(ARTIST VOICEOVER) “Her legs were like skyscrapers resting on my shoulders as I thrust myself into her long lean body on the night I met my Muse, The Countess, at a charity event in The Grove.”

Opera Diva and Artist connect in the moment, to reach mutual orgasm and collapse, in a puddle of human liquids.

*************************************************************************
Scene 8

Artist Contemplates Death Too

Television shouts news about local state of high alert and emergency declared by Florida Governor following Orlando Terrorist attack at Pulse Nightclub and warning of former inmates impersonating law enforcement officers in the viewing area as Swat team, with guns drawn shout at Artist cowering on bedroom floor beside bed. “Open the door, now! We want to talk to you!”

“We are talking! What do you want?” The Artist asks while crawling away from Swat covered windows in the bedroom to Swat covered windows in the living room.

*************************************************************************
Scene 9

Red Head Aging Universe

“Thanks for a lovely evening. Perhaps our paths will cross again in a few months, when I return from touring Asia and Australia with the Metropolitan Opera.” The Opera Diva says before bending over to kiss the Artist goodbye, walking out the door in high heels and a sparkling, wrinkled, evening gown to her car at midday.

*************************************************************************
Scene 10

Romeo The Bomb Sniffing Dog

Swat team with bomb sniffing dogs surround artist’s house as he crawls around in a panic trying to get out of the line of fire inside his home.

“Open the door right now! We need to talk to you!” Police shout.

“Do you have a warrant?” The Artist asks.

“If you don’t cooperate, we will get one!” Cops shout.

“For what? I haven’t done anything.” The Artist replies.

“Assault and battery. Your wife says you beat her up. Open the door, now!” Cops shout while banging on the door.

“I’m not married! You have the wrong guy!” The Artist shouts to armed officers of the law staring back at him through open windows with guns drawn.

*************************************************************************

Scene 11

The Dark Side Of Reincarnation

The Countess calls the Artist and asks, “Would you like to attend a seminar on the dark side of reincarnation, with me, this evening, at the Kabbalah Center, where Madonna goes?”

“I’d love to but my car is in the shop for repairs.” The Artist says.

“No worries. Give me your address. I’ll pick you up at three.” The Countess replies.

*************************************************************************

Scene 12

Hands Up Don’t Shoot

“I’m reaching for my cell phone to call 911. Please don’t shoot me!” The Artist says as he rises from the ground cautiously with arms up, before pointing to his right pocket in front of nervous police officers watching his every move from outside his house, through clear windows, with guns pointed at his chest.

“We are 911!” Cops shout.

“I don’t know that! I’m calling 911, please don’t shoot!” The Artist says as he slowly reaches inside his pocket to grab his cell phone thinking, this may be the last moment of his life.
***************************************************************************************

Scene 13

Crackheadjesus Attacked Me With A Steaknife

“So, you were attacked, in your home, by an actor, with a steak-knife, after filming Crackhead Jesus: The Movie?” The Countess asks the Artist, as she drives to the Kabbalah Center.

“Truth is stranger than fiction.” The Artist says.
*************************************************************************
Scene 14

The Fourth Amendment

“Open the door! We just want to make sure you are okay!” Cops shout at frightened Artist as he speaks nervously to 911 operator on his cell phone in his living room.

“People claiming to be police are at my door demanding entry into my house without a warrant!”

“Calm down, Sir.” The 911 Operator says.

“Calm down? They have guns pointed at me.” The Artist replies, shaking with fear.

“Sir, were you involved in domestic abuse assault and battery with your wife this morning?” The 911 Operator asks.

“No! I’m not married!” Artist says while cops shout, “We’ll come back with a warrant if we have to, open the door!”

“Do that, because I’m not letting you in!” The Artist shouts.
*************************************************************************

Scene 15

How Dare You

Giant, overweight, Actor, with crazy-eyes, bursts through Artist’s bedroom door, wielding a steak-knife and shouting, “How dare you try to come between me and my wife!”

“Put the knife down!” The Artist says with authority.

“You’re trying to break us up!”

“No!”

“Then why would you tell her I raped an actress on set?”

“That’s not what I said! Put the knife down!” The Artist says as the angry actor swings a steak-knife while Artist retreats backwards towards master-bathroom.
*************************************************************************

Scene 16

See Something Say Something

Swat team surrounds house and bangs on front door of Artist’s home, as he speaks to 911 Operator who asks, “So, you witnessed child abuse and incest in your home, have you reported what you told me to Child Protective Services?”

“No.” The intimidated Artist says, staring back at scowl faced, armed officers gazing through his windows.

“Why not?” Asks the 911 Operator.

“I thought my girlfriend would take care of it, it’s her grandchildren.” The Artist answers without hesitation.

“Well, I’m duty-bound to report what you just told me, if you don’t.” The 911 Operator says.
*************************************************************************

Scene 17

Stand Your Ground

Massive Actor’s huge Wife screams, “Please, don’t kill him!”

“I’m going to kill you, you son of a bitch!” The Actor says as he lunges towards Artist brandishing a steak knife.

“Calm down! It’s not what you think!” The Artist shouts as he side steps the Actor’s attack.

Frustrated, the Actor punches hole in wall causing his hand to bleed onto steak knife.

“You are a dead man!” The furious Actor shouts at retreating Artist.

“No!” The Actor’s Wife shouts. “Please stop!”

With nowhere to run or hide, the Artist stands his ground against the mad Actor.
*************************************************************************

Scene 18

Romeo The Bomb Sniffing Dog Too

Swat team surrounding house bangs on door shouting, “We’ll be back with a warrant for your arrest.”

“They’re leaving.” The 911 Operator says to petrified Artist as Swat team exits with bomb sniffing dogs. “But I suggest you call Child Protective Services, first thing in the morning, to file a report, so they can investigate your allegations of child abuse; otherwise, I have to report you as a co-conspirator. I also suggest you go the police station, ASAP, to give your side of the story, because your domestic partner has made some serious allegations against you.”
*************************************************************************

Scene 19

Get Out Of My House

“Get out of my house!” The Artist says, as he walks confidently past enraged Actor waving steak-knife at him as Actor’s Wife yells, “No!”.

The Actor punches another hole in wall, with his bloody fist, leaving red stains, splattered on white wall, as Artist makes his way into living room past hallway.

“I invite you to stay, with your cat, as guests in my home, and you threaten to kill me!” The Artist shouts at the Actor and his Wife, as she takes the knife from her Husbands bloody hand while eating a sausage. “Get out!”

“Fuck you!” The Actor and his Wife shout back at the Artist in stereo.
*************************************************************************

Scene 20

The Long Arm Of The Law

Artist walks into police station and approaches Front Desk Officer, sitting behind bullet proof glass.

“I’d like to file a police report.”

“About what?” The cranky Front Desk Officer asks.

“I was just swatted by my girlfriend. She filed a false police report.”

“Excuse me, Sir, I heard about that incident and I can assure you, the Police were there to protect you.” The Front Desk Officer says.

“Protect me? With guns drawn? Is that how cops protect citizens?”

“Your wife made some serious allegations.”

“She’s not my wife, I told you, she’s my girlfriend.”

“Whatever, your girlfriend said you have bombs and an arsenal of weapons. She also said you killed both of her dogs and tried to stab her in her sleep.” The Front Desk Officer, with a raised eyebrow and accusing look, says to the dumbfounded Artist, under camera surveillance.

“Well, she lied.”

“You’ll have to come back Monday after 3PM. The officers who took the original report are off for the next three days.”

“But I’m the victim, I’d like to file my own report.”

“Sorry. Come back Monday after three.

*************************************************************************

Scene 21

Dj Throw Up Cat

“You’re a piece of shit!” The Actor says to Artist as his Wife loads caged cat into overstuffed SUV in front of Artist’s home at twilight.

“Yeah. You’re a real piece of shit.” The Actor’s Wife says to Artist, as she struggles into passenger seat, while lowering the vehicle suspension, with her obesity.

The Actor and his Wife stick their middle fingers out the window, as tires tear up lawn, screeching burnt rubber onto road as car drives off in a cloud of smoke.

*************************************************************************

Scene 22

The Granddaughter

Inside police station, Child Protective Services Division.

“So, tell me what you witnessed?” The CPS officer asks the Artist who recalls events in flashbacks.

“It was our sixth-year anniversary. My girlfriend’s daughter had just divorced a pedophile that she had procreated two kids with, when she met a stranger on line that she wanted to have sex with.”

“Your girlfriend’s daughter had children with a pedophile?”

“My girlfriend claims her son-in law is a convicted sex offender pedophile and former gang member who is now a born again Christian.”

“Of course and his ex-wife wanted to have sex with a stranger she met on the internet?”

“The Granddaughter claims her father and grandfather are upset because the ink was not even dry on the final divorce papers before her mother started sleeping around.”

“Your girlfriend’s Granddaughter told you this?”

“My girlfriend’s Granddaughter told me a lot of things.”

*************************************************************************

Scene 23

Coolest Movie Marquee Ever

Film crew sets up lighting and soundcheck for scene in fancy mirrored public Ladies restroom.

“Okay, so this is the rape scene. Let’s tone it down from the original script and do it like we did at rehearsal.” The Artist confidently commands cast and crew.

“Quite on the set! Crackhead Jesus: The Movie, rape scene, take one.” The Director’s Assistant says while snapping film slate.

“Action!” The Artist shouts.

Actors commence tense scene surrounded by film crew on closed set.
*************************************************************************

Scene 24

GrandMa’s Stool

Inside Police Station Child Protective Services Division Artist recalls incident in voice over flashback.

“I was in the kitchen making breakfast when I noticed my Girlfriend’s five-year old Grandson defecating in front of me.”

“Are you shitting yourself?” Artist asks fully clothed Boy whose eyes are watery and face is red from straining to pass bowel movement while standing upright.

Diarrhea runs down the boys shorts, covering his legs and socks in feces, as bacon sizzles on stovetop.

“Grandma, he’s pooping himself again!” The Boy’s nine-year old Sister shouts while pointing a finger at her Brother and laughing.

“He said shitting.” The Girl says, pointing to Artist as her Grandmother enters room in panic.

*************************************************************************

Scene 25

Cult Movies

Inside public restroom live film set.

“Is this what you want, Bitch?” Actor growls as he manhandles Actress on camera, before she slaps his face, as scripted, during intense rape scene.

“I thought you loved me! You used me! Asshole!” Actress storms out of frame with tears in her eyes, running mascara and tattered clothing.

“Cut!” The Artist shouts. “Excellent!”

“Can we do that one more time?” The Actress asks while Makeup-Artist cleans her face. “I think I can do better.”

“Is that okay with you?” Artist asks Actor.

“Sure.” Actor replies, with a big grin on his lipstick-smeared face.
*************************************************************************

Scene 26

Living A Mythological Life

Artists’s kitchen filled with smoke and the smell of bacon, eggs and feces causes fire alarm to scream over Granddaughters shouts of, “Grandma, he shit himself again!”

“Don’t say shit!” The Countess scolds her Granddaughter with an evil eye and a scowling look.

“But Grandpa said it first!” The Granddaughter says with big innocent eyes while pointing at Artist.

“I’m not your Grandfather.” The Artist says while removing burnt bacon from frying pan.

“How dare you curse in front of the children!” The Countess howls.

“But, he shit himself while I was making bacon.”

“You burned the bacon! Ha! Ha!” The Granddaughter laughs at confused Artist.

“You’re an asshole!” The Countess says to Artist while grabbing Grandson covered in feces and taking him to bathroom leaving behind a trail of dark, green, diarrhea on plush white carpet.

*************************************************************************

Scene 27

2 Snails At A Fountain

Artist lies naked in bed with Actress and kisses her lips before she pulls away saying, “He raped me.”

“I was there. We have it all on film. How can you say he raped you?”

“I’m telling you, he raped me. Are you going to do something about it?”

“But it was a rape scene, you were both acting.”

“He had a hard on! He pressed it against me and I told him, no tongue. He violated my mouth with his tongue!”

“Okay! Okay!” The Artist says before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “I’ll talk to him before the awards ceremony, tonight.”

*************************************************************************

Scene 28

The Don’t Be A Dick Show

Inside smoke filled kitchen, Countess returns from bathroom to ask Artist, “Where’s his clothes?”

“You’re asking me?”

“He has no clothes.”

“What do you mean he has no clothes?”

Grandson runs around house naked yelling, “Penis! Penis! Penis!”

“His overnight bag is full of toys; no clean clothes!” The Countess shouts as her Granddaughter screams, “It’s Naked Man!”

“Your daughter didn’t pack a change of clothes for your Grandson?” The Artist asks as the bare-assed-Boy somersaults and runs around the house proclaiming, “Naked Man! Naked Man! Naked Man!”

*************************************************************************

Scene 29

Duke

The Countess and Artist arrive at Kabbalah Center for seminar on the dark side of reincarnation.

“So you told the Actor’s Wife he raped his Costar?” The Countess asks the Artist.

“Not exactly.” The Artist recalls in flashbacks.

Inside Artist’s house, the Actor’s grossly obese wife shoves a hot dog in her mouth while talking to Artist in kitchen. “Let me take care of you. You must be so stressed out. Let me give you an orgasm.”

Artist backs away from Actor’s Wife, as she slides her tongue from cheek to cheek, wiping away mayonnaise and mustard from the sides of her mouth.

*************************************************************************

Scene 30

Teach Your Children Well

Inside living room of Artist’s house, Naked Man reigns supreme as Artist plays the piano. Countess, Artist and Granddaughter watch in horror as Grandson grabs long wooden flute and proceeds to masturbate with instrument as his Sister screams and Grandmother gasps.

“Uh, is anyone going to stop this kid from masturbating in front of us?” The Artist says while playing piano.

“Don’t say that in front of the Kids!” The Countess shouts at Artist.

“So let me get this straight.” The Artist sings while playing piano. “He can masturbate in front of us but I can’t say the word to describe what he is doing.”

“What’s masturbate, Grandma?” The nine-year old girl asks Countess as her nude five-year old brother runs to the piano and starts slapping his penis on piano keys, shouting, “Naked Man! Naked Man!”, while Artist tickles ebony and ivory without skipping a beat.
*************************************************************************

Scene 31

Let Me Ease Your Stress

Inside Artist’s house, dining room, Artist tells Actor’s Wife, “Your Husband’s co-star is accusing him of rape.”

“What?”

“I know, I tried explaining to her that it was a rape scene but she insisted I talk to you and your husband before tonights award ceremony because you are producers on this project and well, honestly, I don’t know what she wants.”

“That bitch is crazy!”

“I figured we could discuss this with your husband over dinner, so we don’t cause a scene at the awards ceremony.” The Artist says to Actor’s Wife as she stares out window to see her husband flipping steaks on barbecue grill in backyard.

*************************************************************************

Scene 32

The Adventures Of Naked Man

Inside living room of Artist’s house, Countess and her Granddaughter watch as Grandson rubs his penis on Artist’s arm as he plays piano.

“Okay, this really has got to stop! Now he’s rubbing his dick on me!” The Artist says to Countess while her Grandson sings, “Naked Man! I’m Naked Man!” and Granddaughter looks on in shock.

“Don’t say dick!” The Countess screams at Artist, doing nothing to stop her Grandson’s perverse behavior.

“He said dick!” The Granddaughter says in amazement as her naked brother shouts, “Dick! Dick! Dick!” while slamming his penis all over the piano keys.

*************************************************************************

Scene 33

Saints & Sinners

Inside Kabbalah Center auditorium, the Countess and Artist meet Philip Berg an American Rabbi and dean of the worldwide Kabbalah Center. The Countess is starstruck in the presence of this Holy Man.

“This man is your Soulmate.” Berg says to Countess as he stares into Artists eyes while shaking his hand firmly for a length of time. “His love for you is eternal. He is sent to challenge, awaken and stir different parts of you in order for your soul to transcend to a higher level of consciousness and awareness.”

“It’s an honor to meet you, Sir.” The Artist says as both men loosen their grip on each other.

“The honor is mine. You are a visionary. Your work is prophetic with divine inspiration. Keep Shining, Brother. Flow.” Berg says to the Artist, before walking onstage in front of a packed auditorium to begin his lecture on the dark side of reincarnation.
*************************************************************************

Scene 34

Fruit Doesn’t Fall Far From Tree

“Can you watch the kids while I go buy Naked Man some clothes?” The Countess asks the Artist as he cleans up the kitchen and her Grandson streaks across the house chasing his sister shouting, “I’m Naked Man!”

“No. Your daughter’s kids are out of control.”

“Please, I can’t take him to the store naked.”

“Your daughter’s more concerned about getting laid than taking proper care of her children. What kind of mother sends her maladjusted kids on an overnight, without clothes?”

“Asshole! Don’t say, laid, in front of the children!” Countess screams as her Grandson fondles his Sister in front of her and the Artist.

*************************************************************************

Scene 35

A Woman Sees What She Wants In A Man

“Our totality must include a dark side if we are to be whole.” Says American Rabbi Philip Berg at the conclusion of his dissertation on spiritual afterlife at the Kabbalah Center before exiting the stage to a standing ovation.

“That was fantastic.” The Countess says to Artist who replies, “Interesting.”, as they both applaud and make their way out of the packed auditorium to the parking lot.

“Would you like to come back to my place for a drink?” The Countess asks the Artist, who answers, “Sure.”, with a smile as he opens the drivers-side car door for the Countess before walking around her clean, red Volvo, to sit in the passengers seat.
*************************************************************************

Scene36

What, Me Worry?

“Sweetheart, are you done in the shower, we have to go get your Brother some clothes at the store.” The Countess hollered to her Granddaughter as her Grandson in a long, white, t-shirt bursts through the closed bathroom door, revealing his Sister standing naked and exposed in front of the Artist and her Grandmother.

“Boobies!” The Brother shouts at his Sister, while pointing at her bare chest, as she screams in vulnerable embarrassment, while staring, naked, into the Artist’s shocked, wide-open, eyes, in front of her Grandmother, the Countess.

*************************************************************************

Scene37

The Grand Finale

The Artist and Countess reach orgasm together before resting side-by-side in her King-Size bed.

“That was incredible. Thanks.” The Artist says as the Countess rises from bed naked and walks towards closet.

“I want to show you something.” The Countess says, as she stands naked on her toes to retrieve a large box from the top shelf in her closet. The Artist notices and reacts physically to her erect nipples and hairy bush as she brings the box to bed with her, noticing his bulge rising from underneath her silk sheets he inquires, “Are we about to get, really kinky, now?”

“I thought we already did.” The Countess says, laying the box gently beside his excitement, before opening it.

*************************************************************************

Scene 38

Nuts

“We’re back!” The Grandson shouts, as he bursts through the front door sporting new clothes. “Look what Grandma got me.”

“That’s just great.” The Artist says, feigning interest before boy punches him in the groin, manifesting pain and shock that causes Artist to shout, “What the fuck?”, while recoiling.

“Stop cursing in front of the children!” The Countess shouts.

“But he punched me in the nuts!”

“He said nuts, Grandma. Is that the same as balls?” The Granddaughter asks her Grandmother while pointing at the Artist, as her little Brother guffaws, before punching the Artist’s testicles again.

“What? I can’t say nuts either?” The Artist asks Countess with watery eyes before falling to the floor. “What the fuck?”

*************************************************************************

Scene 39

Feed Them Sweets & Tell Them Lies

The Countess goes through her last pile of photo’s with the weary Artist, revealing her rich, celebrated history and international circle of influence including celebrities and world leaders.

“So, you’re telling me you created American Idol and The Bachelor?” The Artist asks while nibbling on the Countess’ perky nipples.

“Yes, but I never got credit or any money for it, because Hollywood assholes and their lawyers stole my ideas at a pitch meeting with network executives.”

“Why didn’t you sue?”

“I tried but I didn’t stand a chance against corporate lawyers on payroll; I’m just a poor little rich girl.” The Countess said, before grabbing the Artist’s stiff manhood, while kissing his lips.

*************************************************************************

Scene 40

Every Man Wants To Marry Magdalene

Granddaughter approaches Artist in his office as he works on his computer. “Can I talk to you about something private?” She asks.

“Sure.”

“My Dad and Grandfather are very upset with my Mom because she’s been spending so much time on the computer meeting strange men and sleeping with them instead of taking care of my Brother and I.”

“Really?”

“Grandpa says my mom is a whore. What’s a whore?”

The Artist pauses to contemplate his answer.

*************************************************************************

Scene 41

Woman

“So you are an actor, producer and an award-winning film director.” The Countess asks Artist while they lie naked in bed together in her beachfront mansion.

“And an award-winning artist.”

“And a politician as well?”

“I used to be, not anymore.”

“And a businessman?”

“True.”

“So, you’re a jack of all trades and master of none?”

“I wouldn’t say that.”

“So, what else are you good at?”

“Well, here, let me show you.” The Artist says before crawling under silk sheets to perform cunnilingus on the Countess.

*************************************************************************
Scene 42

Modern Man Modern Woman

“A girl in my class says men can get pregnant and have babies, is that true?”

“Sounds like your friend knows a thing or two about being transgender.”

“What’s transgender?”

“What are you teaching my Granddaughter?” The Countess asks Artist as she enters the room.

“She asked me a question.” The Artist answers.

“You’re not the one to be teaching her about sex.”

“I’m not. Obviously, your Daughter’s not either. She’s too busy having sex with strangers online to teach her children about nature.”

“Sex! Sex! Sex!” The Grandson shouts, as he runs into the room and slaps his Sister’s ass.
*************************************************************************

Scene 43

I Bet On America

“That was lovely, thank you. I see you are talented with your tongue as well, young man.”

“Glad I could be of service to you.” The Artist says after wiping his mouth on her sheets.

“So, what made you become a politician?”

“I was young, dumb and idealistic. I thought I could make a difference.”

“You sound jaded. What happened?”

“I was offered a bribe by an alleged serial-killer-spinal-surgeon.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, Mister, now I’m curious; Explain.” The Countess demands as she snuggles comfortably into the Artist’s bare chest.
*************************************************************************

Scene 44

Reputation Is Wealth

“My Daughter will be here any minute to pick up her kids, can you watch them while I take a shower?”

“I’d rather not.” The Artist tells Countess as he watches children play in yard from his office window.

“Don’t be a dick. Just do it.” The Countess says as she disrobes into shower.

“Where’s their deadbeat dad?” The Artist shouts loud enough for Countess to hear him in the shower.

“The kids mother and father are having sex with strangers, while we babysit their children on our six year anniversary; am I the only one who sees something wrong with that?” Artist says as he watches Brother hurl rocks and sticks at his tormented Sister in the yard.
*************************************************************************

Scene 45

Woman 2 Infinity

Voice over flashback as the Artist recalls history for the Countess.

“I was a millionaire businessman in my late twenties, when I fell in love with a woman I met at an open house for real estate investors in a high-rise luxury building.”

Buxom blonde wearing a label reading, “Hello My Name Is Godess”, on her heaving breast, grabs Artist by the hand and leads him to her Girlfriend, sitting alone at bar beside neon lit infinity pool at night.

“Let me introduce you to my friend. She’s not a real estate agent but she needs to get laid, it’s been a while.” Goddess says before introducing the Artist to her beautiful friend.
*************************************************************************

Scene 46

Seven Deadly Sins

Brother chases Sister into house and assaults her in front of the Artist. Sister is hit so hard by Brother that she doubles over in pain onto couch and bites the pillow to muffle her screams of pain.

Brother looks at Artist with innocent eyes and says, “Please don’t tell.”.

Sister wipes tears from her eyes and says the same to Artist as Countess walks into the room with towel on her head asking, “What’s going on out here?”

*************************************************************************

Scene 47

Sodomy

“You know, I don’t normally do this?” Muse says to Artist, as he opens passenger side door of his Lexus convertible, a DVD case titled, “Anal Intruders #57”, falls out of car onto pavement.

Embarrassed, the Artist replies, “You know, that’s not mine?”

“I guess we’re even then.” The Muse says, as she picks up the DVD and inspects packaging.

“I’ll tell you the story on the way to your place.” Artist says, as he closes car door, after Muse settles into seat.

“The story of Anal Intruders 57; I can’t wait.” The Muse says slyly as Artist starts the engine.
*************************************************************************

Scene 48

The Dead Cock

“Mom’s home!” Grandson shouts as his mother pulls into driveway with Internet Lover.

Artist goes to open door and sees Internet Lover slap kids mother on ass while saying, “I can’t wait to tap that sweet ass again, Mama!”

“And eat my pussy; I love the way you eat my …” The kids Mother stops when she realizes Artist is standing at entryway watching.

“Oh! Hello.” She says to Artist. “We brought you some soda pop.”
*************************************************************************

Scene 49

Full Moon Beach

“So you evicted a seventy year old woman with an extensive porn collection?”

“I had to, she wanted to pay rent in blow jobs.” The Artist tells Muse as he navigates Ocean Drive with the top down under full moon light. “Bank of America doesn’t take that sort of payment on mortgages.”

“So how many properties do you own?”

“Twelve. It’s a pain the ass, though, no pun intended.” Artist says to Muse holding Anal Intruders #57 in her lap as they both laugh.

“Tell me about it.” The Muse says.

“Well, one tenant told me she couldn’t pay rent, because her son had been decapitated and needed the money for his funeral. I mean, what am I supposed to say to that?” Artist asks as he pulls up to Muse’s apartment building on the beach.
*************************************************************************
Scene 50

The Sex Offender

“So, how was your 5k run for charity?” Artist asks kids Mother as she washes vegetables at kitchen sink for salad and Countess slaves over burners on stove while Granddaughter twerks in front of Internet Lover and her Brother in living room.

“What?” The kids Mother says, taken aback by the question. “Oh, we only ran 1k.”

“Really, what did you do the rest of the time?” Artist inquires while watching Internet Lover enjoying the nine-year olds provocative dance in front of him.

“We found stuff to do. Want to hear a joke?” The kids Mother asks in a quick change of subject. Without waiting for an answer, she barrels into her comedy routine. “This guy and his girlfriend are fighting, she says, “I’m breaking up with you.” “Why?” He asks. She says, ”Because you are a pedophile.” He says, “Pedophile? Hmmm, that’s an awfully big word for a ten year old.”

The Artist looks at her stunned, without laughing.

“I told that to my employees at T-Mobile. They loved it. Okay, here’s another one: What type of shoes do pedophiles wear?” The kids Mother asks the speechless Artist before answering, “White Vans. Get it? Pedophiles drive around in white vans.”

“You’re a manager at T-mobile and you tell your workers pedophile jokes?” Artist asks kids Mother as Granddaughter approaches him dancing seductively.

“What’s a pedophile?” Granddaughter asks Artist, who pauses before answering to take in his surroundings and situation.

“Your Father.” The Artist replies.

“How dare you!” The Countess shouts from kitchen immediately.

“I mean, ask your Father.” Artist corrects himself to no avail.

“That’s not what you meant!” The Countess scolds Artist.

“Wait a minute. Let me get this straight. Your daughter marries a convicted sex-offender pedophile, has two children with him, divorces him, starts whoring around with strangers on the internet using charity as an excuse to do so and tells pedophile jokes at work to her employees and in my home, in front of her mother and children, but I’m the bad guy?”
*************************************************************************
Scene 51

Money Backed By Faith In Federal Reserve

Artist arrives at fourplex in Lexus convertible to collect rent from his tenants. He knocks on first door and sees disheveled tenant making his way out back window of apartment. Artist catches up with him before both feet hit the ground.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“I heard you knocking at the door.”

“So you climbed out the window?”

“The front door is locked.”

“So why didn’t you open it?”

“The window is jammed.”

“You just climbed out of it.”

“I know but the door is locked.”

“Listen, I’m just here to collect the rent.”

“I don’t have it.”

“What do you mean you don’t have it? You are two months late now.”

“Can I pay you in weed?”

“No! You can’t pay me in weed! The mortgage company doesn’t accept weed as a payment.”

“How about crack?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“I have cocaine if you want.”

“I don’t want drugs. I want you to get the fuck out of here.”

“You can’t evict me. I know my rights. I have ninety days.”

“I’m calling the cops.”

“They can’t do shit without a warrant. Besides, I’ll tell them it’s yours and they’ll confiscate your place as a drug house.” Tenant pulls three crumpled, one-hundred dollar bills, from his pocket and tosses them at Artist. “Here, I’ll pay you the rest later. Go fuck yourself!”

Artist picks money up from floor as he watches his tenant run away out the back fence door.

*************************************************************************

Scene 52

A Man Cares For His Family

“Why can’t you be more of a man, like him?” Granddaughter asks Artist while sitting on her Mother’s Internet Lover’s lap.

The Artist pauses to look at Internet Lover smiling while young girl sits on his lap in front of him as Countess and her Daughter set table and prepare meal for serving.

“You mean why don’t I father illegitimate children with different women out of wedlock? Why am I not a deadbeat dad? Or, why am I not screwing your mother?” The Artist says as the Countess announces, “ Okay, everyone, dinner is served. Let’s go, everyone to the dinner table, including you, young man.” She says to her Grandson as he humps her leg.

“Who’s going to say Grace?” The born-again Christian Daughter asks as she plays footsy with her Internet Lover under the table and her son picks his nose while his sister winks at the Artist.

“Why don’t you say a prayer for us?” The Countess asks the Artist.

“Dear God, help us all.” The Artist prays.

“That’s it?” The Countess says.

“What more do you want?” The Artist replies as the Grandson wipes his finger on the tablecloth.
*************************************************************************

Scene 53

Working Women

Artist knocks on second door of fourplex.

Two young, scantily clad Russian girls open door and proceed to seduce the Artist.

“I’m here to collect the rent.”

“Threesome?” The petite Girl says in a thick Russian accent as her Roommate rubs the Artists’s crotch over his dress pants.

“I’d love to but Bank Of America doesn’t accept sexual favors on mortgage payments.”

“No money. Love.” The Roomate says as she unzips his pants in an accent so thick he can barely understand what she is saying. “We give you good love.”

“I’m sure of that.” The Artist says, zipping his pants up while pushing the girls off him.

“You gay? Sissy-boy?” The petite Russian says mockingly.

“I’m not gay, I’m your landlord and I’m here to collect rent not screw around.”

The Roomate walks over to a coffee can in the kitchen and takes out some cash which she hands to the Artist saying, “Rest later or blowjobs now?”

The Artist takes money and looks into camera with raised eyebrow, breaking the wall between artist and audience, as both girls drop to their knees in front of him.
*************************************************************************
Scene 54

The 3 Muses 2016

“Mommy, Daddy says you are Mama number two and my step-brothers mother is Mama number one. I thought you said she was Mama number two.” Granddaughter says to her Mother at dinner table surrounded by Brother, Grandmother, Artist and Internet Lover.

“She is sweetheart, I’ll always be Mama number one.”

“Then why does Daddy call you Baby Mama number two.”

“Because your father’s an asshole. Eat your salad.”

“You know, that is confusing. All these Baby Mama’s and Baby Daddy’s, it’s hard to make sense of it all and I’m an adult.” The Artist says after sipping water from glass.

“Why don’t you mind your own business?” The Countess’ Daughter snaps while slamming her fork on table, making the silverware rattle.

“Actually, your Mother and I are planning to start a family of our own.” The Artist says proudly, raising a glass of Champagne to toast his heartfelt announcement.

“Stop saying that, the kids may start believing you!” The Countess’ Daughter barks.

“Actually, a seventy year old woman, in India, just gave birth, following two years of IVF treatment, at a fertility clinic and I’m no where near seventy.” The Countess says as she clinks her champagne glass with Artist’s before taking a sip.

“Mom, you’re sixty-five.” The Daughter reminds her Mother.

“So?” The Countess replies.

“So stop telling the kids you guys are going to have a baby, I don’t want them believing that.”

After a short, awkward pause in the dinner conversation, where everyone looks at the Artist with contempt, he breaks the silence by looking at the Countess’ Daughter and says, “You ought to explain Transgender to your daughter, she asked me if men can get pregnant.”

“I don’t want you talking to my children about Transgenders, those freaks are disgusting.”

“Disgusting? That’s funny coming from you.” The Artist responds to irate Daughter of Countess.

“That’s it. We’re out of here. Come on kids, let’s go. I’m sorry, Mom. I don’t know what you see in this monster. He’s rude, disgusting, vulgar and offensive.” The Daughter says as she rises from the table in a fit of rage.

“Look in the mirror, the same words can be used to describe you and your life.” The Artist responds.

“How dare you say that to my daughter?” The Countess shouts. “That’s it! We’re done! We’re over! You’re out of here! I want you out of my house before the end of the month!”

“Wait!” The Artist says, standing up. “Before you go, let’s all toast to our sixth year anniversary. Happy anniversary, Babe.” The Artist says turning to the Countess. “It’s been real.” The Artist says, as he raises his glass to an exasperated room full of houseguests, clamoring to exit, before he takes a swig of champagne and gets hit in the testicles by the Grandson, forcing him to spit out champagne all over the Countess and her Daughter.
***************************************************************************************

Scene 55

Baker Act

Artist knocks on third door of fourplex. Old man stinking of alcohol through pores and breath opens door to hand artist check.

“Thank you.” The Artist says before noticing the date on check. “Wait a minute, this check is for next month, I need this month’s rent.”

“I thought I paid this month already.”

“No and you were late on last months rent, so you have to add the late fee.” The Artist says taking a step back to avoid the repulsive smell emanating from the lanky senior citizen.

“I paid last month.” The drunkard says before breaking into a coughing fit that projects spittle onto the Artists suit and tie.

“Yes but you were late.” The Artist says while wiping spit off his tie with handkerchief from his pocket.

“I’m not late. I’m paying you a month in advance you greedy bastard!” The old man shouts in a drunken rage that cause him to stumble back into his apartment.

“This check is dated a month in advance. I can’t cash this.”

“That’s not my problem.” The old man says before passing out on his couch, snoring and dribbling out of the side of his wide open mouth.
***************************************************************************************

Scene 56

Passion Muse

As Daughter drives off with kids and Internet Lover, peeling out of the driveway, the Countess returns and yells at the Artist, “How dare you embarrass me in front of my family.”

“Me? I’m the embarrassing one? That’s rich.” The Artist laughs.

“Yes, you. My daughter says she never wants to see you again and will not let me see my Grandchildren until you are out of my life, so you’ve got to go. Now!” The Countess screams hysterically.

“Are you serious? The pedophile lover finds me offensive?” The Artist says while dodging a plastic cup full of water hurled at him by the furious Countess as she hollers, “Get out! Get out! Get out!”

The Countess curls fingers into fists and pounds Artist in chest with both clenched hands pushing him backwards. The Artist grabs her arm instinctively to stop his descent and tears her shirt as they both fall to the floor, dangerously close to sharp edge of living room furniture. He holds the Countess in a tight embrace as she struggles to break free from his stronghold. She crumbles into tears and curses him as he attempts to contain her anger within his hug.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry. It’s okay. We’ll get through this, I promise.” The Artist says before kissing the Countess on her forehead as she sobs uncontrollably in his arms.
***************************************************************************************

Scene 57

Crackhead Jesus Is Coming

Artist drives up to beachfront property, steps out of his Lexus convertible, makes his way to front door and rings bell.

“Thank God you are here!” Says behemoth woman who opens door with curlers in her hair. “My husband got high on crack, went to work, got on his desk and told everyone at his office that he is the New Messiah and they are all his disciples.”

“What?” The Artist asks in disbelief.

“My husband thinks he’s Jesus fucking Christ!”

“You’re kidding?”

“I wish! The stupid motherfucker got fired today! He spent all our money on drugs and gambling, so now we can’t pay the rent.” The jumbo sized wife sobs as her husband approaches from behind in a white robe and sandals saying, “Welcome my Son.”, to the startled Artist.
***************************************************************************************

Scene 58

Evolution Of Man & Woman

Artist in bed with Countess leans over to kiss her goodnight but she recoils and turns away from him.

“How long are you going to keep ignoring me? It’s been three weeks since your daughter ruined our anniversary.” The Artist asks and receives a silent response from the Countess. “I didn’t think you could hold a grudge for that long.”

The Artist shuts off light. A loud fart breaks the silence. The Countess turns on light leaps out of bed and storms out of the room.

“I guess a blow job is out of the question.” The Artist says as she exits.

***************************************************************************************

Scene 59

Modern Crucifixion

“Jesus don’t pay rent.” Crackheadjesus says to the Artist, while lounging in Speedo, on a float, shaped like a slice of pepperoni pizza, in pool.

“Listen Mister, unless I get footage of you walking across this pool, Bank of America isn’t going to believe I’m renting to the New Messiah.” The Artist says.

“Fuck Bank Of America! Those crooks fleeced everyone with the bailout!”

“That may be so but I still need to collect your rent.”

“I told you, Jesus don’t pay rent!”

“I don’t have time for this nonsense. If you don’t pay rent, I’ll have to hire an attorney to evict you.”

“Bankers and lawyers all have a special place in hell and so will you if you don’t stop fucking with me.” Crackheadjesus said to the Artist while making the sign of the cross with his middle finger as the Artist walks past his gigantic sobbing wife saying, “Your husband needs an intervention.”, before walking out the door.

***************************************************************************************

Scene 60

Nothing Like A Woman Scorned

“Good morning, My Love.” The Artist says sincerely to grumpy, disheveled, Countess as she makes her way into the kitchen to make a fresh pot of coffee in the morning.

“My daughter and I voted you off the board of directors. You are no longer part of our company.”

“You can’t do that.”

“We just did.”

“I never got notice, besides you and your daughter voted me off on what grounds?”

“On the grounds that you’re an asshole.”

“That may be so, but I remind you, this asshole, made us all a lot of money; a third of which I’m entitled to, as one third owner of the company.”

“We’ll see about that.”

“Well, good luck lying to the IRS. I’m sure they’ll be just as curious as I am to know what happened to my money if you two decide to steal and hide it.”
***************************************************************************************

Scene 61

The Backpacker

Artist plays chess with white haired Doctor in penthouse apartment overlooking Ocean.

“Doc, I’ve got this tenant who thinks he’s Jesus Christ and won’t pay rent; got any suggestions?”

“Do what I did when I had an obnoxious, deadbeat, crackhead tenant.” The auspicious looking spinal surgeon says to Artist while moving his Knight to put Artist’s Queen in check on the marble chess board. “After performing complex spine surgery, I washed up and left the hospital wearing a clean pair of surgical gloves.”

The Doctor tells Artist story in flashback as Artist plots his next moves on chessboard.

No one notices Doctor as he walks to his Cadillac in the Emergency room parking lot and opens car door in fresh surgical gloves. “I own a couple of low income tenement buildings in Baltimore, Pennsylvania and New Jersey.” The Doctor says in voiceover as he drives through Baltimore to a run down building in ghetto. “When my tenants get out of line, I kill them.”

Doctor parks car in dark alley next to filthy dumpster and exits vehicle as rats scurry away under his feet. He calmly walks through back entrance into dimly lit hallway that leads to stairwell consumed with graffiti under flickering lights. His expensive shoes crush German roaches as he climbs up seven flights of stairs without breaking a sweat. He exits enclosed stairwell and makes his way to apartment 702 where he knocks on the door with authority.

Seconds pass before the Doctor sees an eyeball staring back at him through peephole and he hears multiple locks being undone before door opens to reveal a lanky drug addict who says, “Listen, I’m sorry about the rent.”

Doctor grabs crackhead by the throat and lifts him off the ground, walking him straight back towards open window at the other end of filthy apartment saying, “I’m sure you are.”, before pushing his tenant, with feet and arms flailing, out the window to his death. The Doctor looks out window to see his victim impaled on fire hydrant and smiles before calmly walking out of the apartment, locking the door behind him and making his way past elevator to stairwell, where he walks downstairs to his car and drives away as if nothing happened.

“You’re kidding me, Doc.” The Artist says while moving his pawn to protect his Queen from the Doctor. “You’re suggesting I murder Crackheadjesus?”

“I’m not suggesting anything, I’m merely answering your question before putting you in checkmate.” The Doctor says as he moves his Bishop between the Artists’s King and Queen on the chessboard.

***************************************************************************************

Scene 62

The Countess

“I want you out of here, now!” The Countess shouts at Artist, as he follows her fluidly through house, with cellphone camera, video recording her every move and words.

“Where’d you get those bruises?” The Artist asks Countess, from behind the camera, while filming black and blue areas all over her body, as she puts clothes away in closet.

“I got them at an amusement park.”

“Oh really, when did you go the amusement park? I don’t remember being at an amusement park.”

“It was the beach.”

“Really? So how did you get that bruise?”

“Get out of my face.”

“But, how did you get that bruise? Did I give you that bruise?”

“I have pictures of the bruises you’ve given me and they were much worse than that.”

“So then who gave you this bruise right here?” The Artist asks, as Countess walks away from him, into living room area, as he follows her with camera recording.

“I was playing with the kids at the beach.”

“Which kids? The kids that are incestuous? The ones that have parents that actually lie and have us, on our anniversary, take care of her children, so that she can have sex, with a stranger?”

“I forbid you to film me.” The Countess shouts over the Artist as their words collide in an escalating argument that moves through the house with the artist saying, “ A stranger that your daughter brings into our house; a stranger that she met three months prior.”

“I want you out of my home!”

“Endangering the life of her children, by bringing a stranger into the house, so she can have sex.”

“This is my house.” The Countess shouts looking into the camera saying, “This man is not welcome in my home and I will call the police to have him evicted.”

“I have to witness incest and assault.”

“You didn’t see incest!”

“Making me have to see child pornography.”

“You didn’t see assault!”

“Because the kids Baby Daddy and Baby Mama are irresponsible.”

“You didn’t see anything of the such. You’re the person that was saying the words boobies and penis!”

“I had to see a young girl naked, which offended me.”

“Excuse me, you never saw a young girl naked!”

“Yeah, because the incestuous son of a pedophile, in front of the Countess, who did say nothing and actually turned the blame on the poor young girl, who ended up having to show her naked body to a stranger and now, your Daughter puts that same endangered young girl, in the hands of a stranger and you, as her Mother, condone it.”

“You are insane! You need to leave my home!” The Countess says as she slams the Officer door behind her and locks the Artist out, leaving him filming a closed door, saying, “And this is now on the record.”

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Scene 63

The Attorney

Inside fancy lawyers office, Artist sits across desk from rotund attorney.

“So let me get this straight, you want to hire me, a Jewish attorney, to evict Crackheadjesus?”

“I’m not going to kill him.” The Artist says.

“I’ll crucify him for you but it’ll cost you.”

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Scene 64

Book Of Life

Artist sheds his clothes and turns into bed alone before shutting off light to sleep at Midnight. He sees a bright light flashing into his bedroom and hears rustling outside his window. Frightened, Artist crawls out of bed, onto floor, while grabbing his cellphone off nightstand and heads into bathroom avoiding the bright spotlight. He dials 911. The moment Operator answers, two men burst through bathroom door with bright lights and guns pointed at him as he sits on the toilet shaking with fear.

“911, is this an emergency?”

“Two men are in my house pointing guns at me!”

“Police! Put your hands up!” Blinded by the light, Artist can only hear shouts in the surrounding darkness.

“They are police, Sir. We got a report of burglars in your neighborhood.”

“How did they get into my house without a warrant?” The Artist asks squinting at light beams.

“Your wife gave us the house keys and said there was a burglar in the house.” Voice behind light says.

“I’m not married.”

“I’m going to let you go now, Police will take care of things.” 911 Operator says.

“Can I videotape them?”

“They have body cameras on, Sir. Just do what they tell you and everything will be alright.” 911 Operator says before hanging up.

“Do you have I.D., Sir?” One of the police officers says from behind the light.

“Not on me.” The Artist replies. “I’m sitting on the shitter. Please don’t shoot.”

“Turn on the light, so we can shut our Mags off.”

The Artist flicks bathroom light switch on, revealing two armed cops, with guns aimed at his chest, standing inches away from his naked, shaking body.

“Do you live here?” Cop #1 says as both men shut off their lights and lower their weapons.

“Yes. My wallet is on the night stand. I’ll show you my drivers license.”

Police back away and allow naked Artist to get identification out of his wallet.

“Your wife thought there was a burglar in the house. She seemed pretty frightened.”

“She’s been swatting me and cop shopping because I notified Child Protective Services of possible child abuse with her grandchildren. This is the second time in less than a week that I’ve almost gotten shot by police in my own home.”

“We’re sorry, Sir. We’ll go talk to her.”

“That’s it? Can I file a complaint about her making false police reports? Isn’t it a misdemeanor or felony?”

“We’ll talk to her, Sir. If she genuinely thought there was a burglar inside, we can’t do anything.”

“Here’s your license. Sorry for the misunderstanding. Goodnight.” Cop #2 says before exiting home with Cop #1.

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Scene 65

The Judge

Inside Courtroom Artist sits beside his short, stumpy, Lawyer, as Judge looks down on him.

“Your Honor, my client is looking to evict this man and seeks financial retribution for damages done by tenant to his rental property.”

“Let me ask you something.” The Judge says to Artist’s Lawyer. “How many properties does your client own?”

“Twelve, your Honor.”

“And he can’t find it in his heart to house this man until he gets the help he needs to move on?”

“Your Honor, with all due respect, my client is running a business, not a charity.”

“That may be so but do to the extenuating circumstances, I’m going to allow for the tenant to reside in the property for ninety days and award your client $3,000 in damages for what you were able to prove as negligence on the tenants part. That’s my judgement. Get a copy of the ruling from the clerk on your way out of the courtroom.” The Judge said before striking gavel on desk as Crackheadjesus and his wife grinned from ear to ear at Artist.

“You’ll never see a penny of it.” Crackheadjesus says to Artist as they cross paths on way out of courtroom. “ And if you think your house is fucked now, wait till you see it in ninety days.”

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Scene 66

Public Trust

Artist watches news investigation of people shot and killed by police before shutting off television and going to bed, alone in his house. He is noticeably shellshocked. As Artist, naked, twists and turns restlessly in bed, he notices through window, a car parked at the end of street, with it’s engine running and lights off. He crawls out of bed and puts robe on to investigate when suddenly bright lights fill his bedroom and he drops to the ground in terror as loud knocking fills the night time silence.

“Police! Open the door!” Artist sees cops and dogs surrounding his house in shadows. He walks to front door and looks through peep hole where he sees police in military gear standing outside his door.

“What do you want? I talked to the cops already.”

“You were arrested for battery the other day, we’re here to serve you.”

“No I wasn’t. You’ve got the wrong guy, I wasn’t arrested for anything the other day.”

“You don’t have a job. You are unemployed.”

“That’s not true. What does that have to do with anything?”

“Open the door, Sir. You’re just making it more difficult on yourself.” Artist notices the police officer taking a defensive stance behind the closed door.

“I’m calling 911. Please don’t shoot me. I’m not armed and you don’t have a warrant, so I’m not letting you in.” The Artist shouts while backing away from door and dialing 911.

“911, is this an emergency?”

“I’m being swatted. I’m being harassed by police because I reported my girlfriends Daughter to CPS.”

“They’re just there to serve you with papers, Sir.”

“For what? I haven’t done anything.”

“You have an injunction, Sir.”

“What’s that?”

“They’ll explain it to you, Sir, just open the door.”

“No. I’m not opening the door. Those guys are intimidating and accusing me of having been arrested for battery, which obviously I didn’t since, I’m not in jail.”

“I’m on the phone with the officers on the scene, they will leave, if you promise to drop by the station tomorrow morning, to sign the injunction.”

“I’ll do that but the only thing I’m guilty of is doing the right thing. Since when did see something say something become a crime?”

“They’re leaving, Sir. Make sure you drop by the station tomorrow morning, please.”

Artist watches from window as Swat team leaves with bomb sniffing dogs in tow.

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Scene 67

Crackheadjesus

Artist in Lawyers office.

“I paid you to evict Crackheadjesus and now I have to house this guy for ninety days while he trashes my place!”

“Eviction is not as easy as you think. There’s squatters rights.”

“What about my rights.”

“Rule of Law and justice are two different things, neither of which is always fair.”

“But you make money regardless.”

“It’s called law practice. Clients pay us to practice law.”

“If a plumber, electrician or hairdresser don’t do their job right, they don’t get paid but if a lawyer fucks up…”

“We get paid. That’s how it is. Speaking of which, heres your bill. We take cash or credit card.” The Lawyer finishes Artist sentence while handing him invoice with a big grin and gold rings on his fingers.

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Scene 68

Ghosts

Artist in underwear talks on phone with Sister, recounting his nightmare experience, when doorbell rings as sun comes up. Artist answers door to find two elderly, non-threatening, police officers standing outside holding papers.

“Are you, the Artist?” Elderly Cop #1 asks Artist who has his Sister on phone as aural witness.

“Yes.”

“Sign this please.”

“What is it?”

“It’s an injunction. You have five minutes to vacate the premises.”

“What?”

“It’s a temporary injunction for protection against domestic violence. You’ll have your day in court in a month. Until then, you are not allowed within 500 feet of this property or your wife.”

“I’m not married.”

“You have five minutes to grab whatever you can. We’ll be right here waiting for you to leave. If you don’t leave, we will arrest you.”

The Artist hangs up with his sister and commences a high speed race through the house gathering whatever he can in five minutes and loading it all into the car before driving away under the watchful eye of authority.

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Scene 69

Cristo Mujer

Countess lies in bed with Artist, listening to his story while snuggled into his bare chest.

“I can’t believe the Judge let Crackheadjesus stay in your house for ninety days.”

“The worst part is, Hurricane Wilma left me homeless and destroyed my rental business. Of the twelve properties I owned, the only one that was unscathed was the one Crackheadjesus lived in and he destroyed that property when he left.”

“Were you able to collect for damages?”

“No. The Court said they could not enforce the ruling, because they were not a collection agency and lawyers just wanted more money to collect on something that would leave me in the red, even if I won, so I just cut my losses and got out of the rental business.”

“And you became an artist.”

“Never been happier.”

“Kiss me.” Countess says as she pulls the Artist’s head to meet her lips in a warm embrace.

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Scene 70

Artist Contemplates Life

“I’m fucking homeless! Again!” The Artist says to his friend as he sits at a rest stop talking on his cell phone. “And she emptied out our business and personal bank accounts, so I’m fucking broke too!”

“That’s fucked up. Do you have enough money to make it to my house?”

“Barely.”

“You can crash on my couch, for a few days, if you want but I can only let you stay for a week because I have family coming over and well, you know, your situation is kind of a bummer and they’ll be on vacation.”

“I get it, Man. Thanks for the offer. I’ll take you up on it until I figure out what to do. I’m still in shock over the whole thing.”

Artist starts engine and drives onto highway towards friends house.

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Scene 71

In Vitro Fertilization

Artist and Countess sip fruit cocktails on beach in front their Mansion.

“I think we should start a family.” The Countess says to Artist.

“Didn’t you go through menopause?” Artist asks taken aback by the prospect.

“I can get IVF treatment.”

“Designer babies. I don’t feel much like jerking off into a cup.”

“It’s not like that.”

“Oh, yeah, what are we going to tell our children, that they’re father beat his meat to an all girl lesbian orgy video with tribbing, strap-ons and double dongs, so they could be born in a petri dish?”

“You’re so disgusting.”

“If you think that’s disgusting, how are we going to make a baby? Are you going to fuck me proper or do you want me to jerk off to Disney videos at the sperm bank, so, in your mind, you don’t think I’m a pervert?”

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Scene 72

Don’t Believe The Truth

Artist sitting on friends couch surrounded by papers making phone calls.

“Hey Bud, I need a favor.”

“I know. She contacted me.”

“So you know my situation.”

“I know you are a dick for hitting her and killing her dogs.”

“I didn’t kill her dogs or hit her.”

“Well, that’s what she’s been telling everyone. Your name is mud.”

“You know I’m not the monster she describes.”

“I don’t know, Man. She sounded pretty convincing. I can’t let you stay at my house. I don’t want to get involved, Sorry.”

Artist hears phone line go silent when friend hangs up on him as his Buddy enters room asking, “Have you found another place to stay yet?”

“No, Man. She’s been calling everyone and telling them shit about me. No one wants to get near me, they think I’m a dog killer, wife beater and child molester. That’s what I get for doing the right thing. No wonder no one wants to get involved.”

“See something say something get fucked. That’s why I mind my own business.” Artist’s Buddy says while taking a toke from joint and passing it to downtrodden Artist. “Here, this will calm you down.”

“Thanks, Man.”

“No worries.” Buddy pauses to take hit from joint passed back to him from Artist. “I hate to be a dick but you got to get out of here tomorrow. My family doesn’t take kindly to dog killers and child molesters.”

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Scene 73

Love Graffiti

Artist and Muse enjoy candlelight dinner at home.

“Congratulations! Our hard work paid off. We’re set to make well over seven figures this year in profit.”

“That’s great. We should celebrate by taking off for the weekend. Maybe get a hotel somewhere nice, since tomorrow is our six year anniversary.”

“Oh, about that, my daughter and her new boyfriend are running a 5k for charity tomorrow and she asked if we could watch her kids this weekend.”

“Does she know it’s our anniversary?”

“Yes, but, I told her we would. You know how much I love those kids.”

“If that’s what you want. If it makes you happy.”

“It does.”

“If Mama ain’t happy, nobody’s happy, so I guess we’re babysitting your grandkids for our anniversary.” The Artist says, as Countess rises from table to kiss him on lips, saying, “Thank you Baby. I love you so much. You’re the best.”

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Scene 74

Trust

Artist reads Injunction with Friend as both smoke bong.

“I can’t believe she told police I am a terrorist with bombs and a cache of assault rifles. No wonder they showed up with swat teams and bomb sniffing dogs.”

“What a cunt!” Friend says exhaling a cloud of smoke. “The Bitch tried getting you killed by police, that’s called swatting.”

“I know, the police said she was cop shopping too, trying to find officers that were sympathetic to her cause.”

“That’s bullshit, Man, cops always take the woman’s side.”

“Thanks for letting me stay here, Man, everyone thinks I’m a prick because of her.”

“I know you are a prick but you are my prick and I’m not going to let you crumble because of some dumb bitches lies.”

“Man, I need to get an attorney but she cleared out my bank account and left me penniless.”

“Listen dude, you can crash on my couch as long as you like but I ain’t lending you any money. I’m not a bank.”

“You’ve got three weeks to raise the money to save your good name and reputation, so if I were you, I’d be selling my ass on the street if I had to.”

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Scene 75

The Bailiff

Artist enters Courtroom with attorney and sees Countess sitting beside Domestic Abuse Counselor in packed Court as female Judge enters room, Bailiff says, “All rise, the Honorable Judge Lynn Topper presiding.”

“You may be seated.” The Judge addresses the packed courtroom. “We are hear today to rule on Injunctions for protection against domestic abuse. These are summary proceedings. There is no opening statement, no closing statement, no character witnesses, no long stories and background information about personality disorders or all of the circumstances surrounding the situation. I want facts. Cut to the chase. I won’t stand for any long stories about the history of your relationship, work history, residence history or contribution to the relationship because it’s not relevant. I’m here to determine one thing and one thing only, is the petitioner a victim of an act of violence or is the petitioner in imminent danger of becoming a victim of an act of domestic violence under section 741.30 of Florida statutes. The burden of proof is on the Petitioner to speak specifically about the act of violence perpetrated against the Petitioner and I’m not talking about yelling, cursing, threats or intimidation. I want dates, time and location of specific acts that caused the Petitioner to become a victim. Nothing else matters in my Court. Now, if I do find the Petitioner to be a victim of domestic abuse, I am authorized to sentence the Respondent to up to, but no more than, five and a half months in jail. With that in mind, let’s proceed. Bailiff, what’s the first case on the docket?”

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Scene 76

Do U C What I Say

Doctor plays chess with artist in Penthouse overlooking Ocean.

“Remember this, my friend.” Doctor says to Artist as he puts Artist’s King in check with pawn. “You can always count on cops being overworked, underpaid and lazy and lawyers being greedy. That’s why you can always get away with murder.” Doctor winks at Artist before adding, “That is of course, if you are smart, like me.”

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Scene 77

WWCHJD? What Would Crackheadjesus Do?

In packed Courtroom, Judge addresses female Petitioner, with lawyer, in front of Respondent, without lawyer, defending himself pro se.

“You testified under oath that you witnessed the Respondent beating your son with his fists, did you not?”

“Yes, your Honor, I did.”

“Then why in the police report, taken minutes after police arrested your domestic partner, did your son write, and I quote, ‘I thought he would hit me but he didn’t.’ , end quote?”

“I don’t know, your Honor.”

“Oh, I think I know. If your son had been struck by the Respondent, as you claim, he would have remembered it moments after it happened and included it in the police report. There is a big difference between thinking you are going to get hit and actually getting hit. I’ll tell you what I think. I think the Respondent , as he stated under oath, told you he wanted you and your kids out of his home months ago. I think you tried buying yourself some time by filing this injunction and putting this man in jail without just cause. Your lies have put this man through hell. Therefore, I am denying your request for permanent injunction and dismissing this case for providing insufficient evidence under Florida Law sections 741.30. Who’s next Bailiff?”

“Your Honor, Case number 2016DR002970DRAXES, The Countess versus The Artist.”

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Scene 78

Into The Litigation Vortex

Artist sits with Crackheadjesus as he floats in pool on inflatable Pizza in Speedos.

“You will be challenged by the Justice System and you will learn that it is broken. No justice no peace. In your life, if you want peace, you must learn to navigate the litigation vortex, before it swallows you whole and ruins your existence. Remember, Motherfucker, the truth will set you free.”

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